Damn He Looks Good in a Suit…

The morning after my first date with the Very Cheeky Englishman he is keen to line up date #2. It’s Wednesday and I have a few things on the following nights, so I suggest a date on the weekend.

He says he’ll take it, but it’s too far away and he’d like to see me before then. He asks if I’m free for lunch on the Thursday. I’m not working at the moment, so a weekday lunch date sounded good.

He asks me to meet him in his suburb outside of a hotel, for ease of meeting only but he of course makes the obligatory joke about having booked us a room.

I arrive before him and have the usual ‘will I actually remember what he looks like’ paranoia. But then he appears wearing a blue suit and aviators and he was rocking them both.

Rocking them hard. It was kind of a ‘take my breath away’ moment when I saw him. WTF. How drunk was I on our first date for me to have not noticed how hot he is?!?

He wasn’t in a suit on date 1 though. Mental note, I must think of ways to always get him to wear a suit when I see him. Always. 

He kisses me hello and suggests that we find somewhere to eat on the strip overlooking the beach and takes my hand as we walk off.

As we are walking I again notice the height difference, but I had intentionally worn flats today to suss the situation out. I think he may be 5’9″, but I’m too distracted by the suit hotness to worry about it right now…

We find a restaurant that looks nice and take a seat outside. He is being all sweet and lovely and telling me he loves my eyes and trying to hold my hand across the table. I am feeling strangely awkward for a second date, maybe because he seems so much hotter today and I find myself sitting uncomfortably, often with my arms crossed. He playfully accuses me of throwing bad body language at him, thus being ‘unromantic’ and that I date ‘like a man’, but assures me that he has enough of a romantic side to play the part for both of us.

Which sounds really naff doesn’t it?!? But he is quite a masculine man so I’m actually not put off by it.

At the end of the meal he again refuses to let me pay and we have about 30 mins before he has to head off to a meeting, so we take a walk along the path alongside the beach.

As we walk I find myself slouching a little so I don’t feel so much like a giraffe next to him. The height thing will likely become a problem soon, but for now I’m feeling quite attracted to him, so I’ll let it slide…

We eventually end up where I’ve parked my car. We have discussed the car at length (because it’s the love of my life and his current competition) and he asks to take a look at it. I know he isn’t terribly into cars and he has also told me that he thinks only drug dealers drive white sports cars, so this was obviously was just a ploy to get in the car and pash like teenagers.

But I wasn’t complaining. Once inside he takes off the aviators and I notice that his eyes are a gorgeous colour. Green outside the iris, but they seem to blend into blue on the outer rim.

When time is up and he must head off to his meeting, he tells me that he can’t wait to see me on the weekend and jumps out of the car. I watch him walk away in the rear view mirror, damn I like him in a suit…

Before I drive off he has already sent me a txt. It starts off telling me how much he likes me, but then follows on that we’ve met at the worst time as he has to go home to the UK in a few days to attend to his business there for a couple of months.


Date #2 – Not Funny


Firstly, Happy Australia Day everyone! It was a shitty day weather wise, but you can’t complain when you get a day off work can you – to would be un-Australian to do so in my opinion!

Anyhoo, last night was Date #2 with the one that I was glad didn’t get eaten by a shark. When we first started talking on Tinder we had discussed seeing live comedy as it was something both of us enjoy, then we discussed various comedians on our first date too. So for Date #2 I decided to take a look for any comedy gigs playing somewhere in Sydney that night. It was slim pickings being a Sunday night before a public holiday, but I found a session on at the World Bar in Kings Cross.

The night was free which did ring alarm bells, but I thought WTF, if it’s bad we’ll just leave and there are a thousand good places to eat and drink near there anyway. When we met at the bar at 6:30pm when the gig was supposed to start, there were very few people at the bar. The stage was set up for comedy, but the mic and stool are standing lonely on the stage.

We get some drinks and head outside to wait for the show to kick off. This place serves cocktails in teapots and we ordered two flavours to try first up. Whilst outside drinking those teapots the gig starts inside. We can hear the comedian from where we are outside, but we can’t hear any laughter. Not a good sign….

When the teapots are gone we head inside and try to find an inconspicuous place to sit. Unfortunately everyone else had the same idea as the only seats that are free are immediately in front of the stage, or some slightly to the left which is away from most of the crowd. We pick those thinking that they will be the safest. We’d already had the discussion that if a comedian said anything to us, under no circumstances should either of us admit that we were on a second date. We can only imagine the field day a comedian could have with that, especially a Tinder date!

Each comedian was doing about a 7 min set, but it often felt like much, much longer. A lot like speed dating really. The 4th comedian was dying a slow death about 5 mins into his set and decided to take the easy option and pick on the crowd. He asked two women sitting on the lounge in front of him if they were lesbians as one had a short haircut and was wearing trainers in a bar (of course). He also asked two guys if they were high, then he moved to me and Mr M and asked if we were on a date. We both looked at each other a bit ‘deer in the headlights’ like and it seemed like it was only a second or two before the comedian jumped in saying ‘oh don’t want to say?’ and moved along. He couldn’t even seal the deal with an easy gag on that!

After about 6 comedians had died on stage, half time is called and they promise that their second half is ‘even better’ than the first half. Hmmm…..

We decide to stay though as we are liking the teapots and have tried 6 flavours already, yet the comedy was still not funny!

After the break, it actually seemed to get worse. The headline act was a female comedian from Melbourne who moved to jokes about periods and making her boyfriend buy tampons very quickly when it was obvious she was tanking. At that point I tell Mr M that I’m going to the bathroom and when I get back we should leave. He jokingly says to me ‘you better not leave me here alone with these unfunny people’ and it’s unfortunately one of the funniest things of the night to date.

We leave and he wants to go to this place called Mr Crackles for dinner. I’m a little bit hesitant as it doesn’t sound particularly dateworthy and it’s 15 mins walk away and I’m wearing heels, but he says that the rolls are the most amazing pork rolls he has ever tasted so I agree to go. We get there and it’s really just a takeaway joint, but he is right. The sweet pork rolls he ordered us were amazing and so were the onion rings. I have a thing with onion rings that if I see them on the menu, I just have to have them. I have to!

We leave Mr Crackles and because we are now in pork comas, we look for a quiet bar with some comfy couches that we can sit and chat and we find a perfect candidate just down the road. We look at the cocktail menu at this place and at the bottom of the first page there is a lychee cocktail which he immediately picks. Lychee is another one of my ‘if it’s on the menu, I must have it, I must’ foods. I’ve picked restaurants to dine at before based solely on their menu having a lychee cocktail. So I order two and we find that nice lounge to relax on.

We stay there for a while chilling, chatting, flirting and there is a bit of pashing. Eventually it’s getting late and we are both tired so we call it a night.

It was a great date despite the comedy being really terrible and it seems we’ve both enjoyed it and are keen to catch up again. Tonight we spoke and lined up date #3 for next weekend as I have no free time during the week these days with uni.

So far, so good 😉

My Very First Tinder Date


I’ve revamped my site a little recently and looking over some old posts I just realised I never wrote about my very first Tinder date. It’s quite some time ago now though, so it’s stretching my memory a bit…

This guy was an American doing some kind of medical job that saw him in scrubs in surgeries a lot, but I can’t remember what he actually did. I know it wasn’t a surgeon that’s for sure as I recall on our second date him asking me if I thought $150K was a reasonable salary for a 35 yr old in Australia. Such tasteful dinner table conversation!

I can’t remember his name, but I remember him saying that everyone calls him ‘Bear’ because he is tall and big. He was about 6’5″ and quite a large man. He also had hideous dress sense. The day I met him, it was raining and cold and he was wearing jeans…..and man sandals. Very strange.

But the most interesting thing about our first date was the fact it was a breakfast. Our schedules didn’t quite line up over the weekend and he was about to fly to NZ for work for the week, so we caught up at breakfast as it was the only time free. I dare say it could have been the first Tinder breakfast date in history that didn’t follow a night of sex!

Breakfast was good. Conversation flowed, but he had been married since he was 22 and had only broken up with his wife when he was 34 before he moved to Australia. He spoke about her a lot, which I guess you have to expect since she was part of his life for so long, but at times I felt like I was getting to know her more than him!

At the end of breakfast he kissed me on the cheek and gave me a big hug and said he’d love to catch up when he returned. Whilst he was away he messaged me a lot and things were very flirty and fun. We planned to have dinner the following weekend and I was really looking forward to it.

On date night he comes to pick me up from home. He had pre-warned me that his car was a cheap shitter as when he bought it, he wasn’t sure if he’d be in Australia for long. He called me when he arrived (as I asked him to do) and I went out to meet him. Out the front I see a real shitter car and I walk up to the passenger side. As I get there, he is still sitting in the drivers seat with the engine running and he reaches over, pulls the handle from the inside and pushes the door open for me.

What a gentleman! I kinda got annoyed at that. If he wasn’t going to get out of the car, I think I would have preferred he didn’t make the lame effort to push the door open. When I get in, I was expecting to kiss him on the cheek hello, but he is busy looking at his phone. We head off to a local restaurant and when we get there parking is hard to come by. He seems really irritated by this and I’m getting a bad sign about the evening….

We eat at an italian restaurant and he orders these gross sardine things as entree (great, not sharing that with you) and then a pizza for dinner. I also order a pizza and when it arrives I suggest that he tries my pizza. He is keen and takes a slice of my pizza. I expect the offer to be reciprocated, but he remains silent. Oooo kkkkk…..

Dinner is painful. Conversation is dull. He is a whingey whiny American on this date versus the upbeat positive guy I met on Date 1.

I pay the bill as he paid on the breakfast date and I had had 3 glasses of wine to help get me through the night! He drops me home and the goodbye is brief. He drives off and I know I’ll never want to see him again.

I head inside and check the Tinder bench for the matches I had on reserve whilst I was distracted with this guy. Onwards and upwards!

The one with the Little Sausage

It’s a long weekend in Sydney this weekend and I headed into it quite excited about it being a great weekend. I had a dinner planned with friends Saturday night and Date 2 planned with the last date of Dating Palooza weekend, the English guy.

I didn’t give a lot of detail about this guy in the first post. We met on Tinder, chatted a bit about his work as a Business Development Manager at a hotel chain and although we work in different industries, realised that we had quite similar professional backgrounds. He offered up his phone number and the following night we moved to txting. That went well and so we planned to catch up on the Sunday night (as I already had dates almost every other part of the weekend hehe) and on the Thursday night before that I asked him if he was free to chat on the phone as it will make the date less awkward.

When we spoke we debated if Sunday night will be a date or not. He said he would call it a meeting and he seemed uncomfortable with calling it a date.  It turned out when we did meet that this was because he was new to online dating and hadn’t actually met someone in person before. For me, I’ve now been on so many online ‘dates’ that the word barely even resembles something exciting or romantic, so perhaps I should start calling them meetings or appointments as well!

We kept chatting and we were talking about going for drives and I asked him if he was into cars. He said kinda and got all excited telling me that he had bought his first brand new car last year. I’m quite into cars, not for the mechanics, but certainly the aesthetics and the cool stuff in them. I ask him what he’s got and he tells me it is a Kia Rio. Oh dear….

I had nothing really to say about that and truth be told, I place a Kia pretty much on the bottom of the list of cars I would ever own. It also sounded like quite a girly car to me! He then asks what I have and the thought crosses my mind that perhaps I should lie as he sound so proud of his Kia, but I go ahead and tell him I drive a BMW. He takes it well and asked lots of questions about it and the conversation continues along with lots of joking around and it made me really excited about the date.

The date was great and we exchanged a few txts in the days after and the tone was still really flirty and like things were progressing well. Things were a bit quieter by Thursday and we still hadn’t organised our next date. So I take the bull by the horns and call him Thursday night, but I get his voicemail. I leave a message saying I was just calling to chat and to see if we could line up a catch up over the weekend.

I’m getting ready to go to bed late that night and he hasn’t called back or messaged me and I’m started to get a little worried he isn’t interested. But then he txts me apologising for missing my call and says he’d love to catch up on the weekend and suggests Sunday night. We message a bit after this and he asks me to decide on the location this time as he did it last time.

We message a few times on Friday. All pleasant stuff. Saturday afternoon I txt him my idea for Sunday night which included meeting at a bar that has great cocktails, followed by dinner at a sexy tapas place.

He has read receipts on his phone and I notice that he hasn’t even read my txt by the time I go to bed that night. Nor when I get up on Sunday morning. By 1pm I’m wondering if we are still on for that night and I’m yet to make reservations at the tapas place, so I’m keen to find out. I txt him and ask what’s going on as he hadn’t responded to my txt and ask if we are catching up tonight or not. I check it an hour later and he appears to have read it but doesn’t reply. I am increasingly getting the shits. This guy came across so nice and genuine, even sweet, so why is he being a cock?

I’m getting more annoyed and by 4pm I’ve resolved that we are not going out, but I don’t want him getting away with being an ass. So I decide to call him! I of course get his voicemail and I leave a message saying that I was just ringing to see what happened as we supposedly had plans tonight. I also say that is seems like pretty poor form unless he has been hit by a bus.

I settle in for the night to start watching Orange is the New Black with some red wine. At least that was worthwhile use of the night as it’s an awesome show. I got 7 eps into the first series!

But what the hell happened to this guy? If he had met someone else, or just lost interest in me, surely he could have just responded to my txt about the plans for Sunday with him saying actually, no I’m not keen anymore, let’s not catch up. That would have been fine. Sure, it would have been a bit shit as I enjoyed our first date, but it’s the right thing to do. You can’t just go AWOL when you have made plans with someone.

I check Tinder before going to bed and notice he hasn’t been online for a while. I’m tempted to delete him, but I leave him there for now. When I wake up in the morning I see he has been on Tinder overnight. So I guess his fingers are in fine working order so that’s not a reason for his lack of response.

I block him and do what all ladies need to do when guys do shitful things, I txt my gfs to tell them the situation. They respond with the lovely things friends say like it’s his loss, what a loser etc etc. But one of my friends says to me ‘It’s probably for the best. He probably only had a tiny sausage anyways’. It gave us all a good giggle, but it did get me thinking…

Firstly, he drives a Kia Rio. Come on. Secondly, he has no balls if he was too afraid to send me a txt. Thirdly, on our first (and only) date, after some serious pashing, we got up to leave and kissed a bit more passionately whist waiting for cabs. We were standing up leaning against a fence and I was pressed up against him. And I didn’t notice anything. Not a thing.

I think my friend was right ;p


Impromptu Date 2 with Damo

The first date with Damo happened on a Wednesday. We were exchanging txts in the days after that, but I was at uni Fri-Sun and he had a friend here (apparently a male mate) from overseas who he was busy catching up with. 

I was keen to see him again and by Sunday morning I decided to give in on waiting for him to make the next move and just ask him if he wanted to catch up for a casual dinner that night. I knew he had been drinking for a few days straight, so probably wouldn’t be into doing much, so I thought a casual dinner would suit.

He replied saying that he would like to, but probably shouldn’t as he needed to pack. Hmmm pack for what? He hadn’t told me he was going on a trip and you would imagine someone would if they were going on a trip that was long enough to require packing.

But no, it was because he was moving house. Now considering that he lives in the next suburb and we have talked quite a bit about the area and houses and stuff, I would have thought he would mention that too! I then ask when he is moving. He tells me on Wednesday. Again, I doubt it was a last minute decision, so why hasn’t he mentioned this? I ask where he is going to live and he tells me that he doesn’t have anywhere to go at the moment as he hasn’t found another apartment to rent that he likes, so he is going to go stay with some friends until something good comes up in the area.

So I tell him that packing sounds quite important considering he hasn’t started and it’s three days away and leave him to it.

I get home from uni about 5:30pm, pour a glass of wine and get into the bath. At 5:45pm I get a txt msg from him asking if I wanted to grab a quick bite. I’m keen to see him so I jump out of the bath and get ready for him to come pick me up.

We go to a super casual italian place and get some pasta. Mine is pretty hideous, but his dish looks good. We get talking about gelato and he asks if I have been to Messina. I haven’t and he says that we should go there now. I say ok, so we jump back into the car and head off to get gelato. We go, it’s packed and there are no tables free, so we take our gelato back to his car to eat. I’m somewhat surprised at this as he has told me that he doesn’t let people eat in his car, so I’m very careful as gelato can be quite dribbly!

We drive back to my place and he pulls over out the front of my apartment building and we start our goodbyes. Which of course turns into some kissing, so he turns the car off saying ‘let’s commit to this huh’. We pash for a while in the car in pretty much the same spot that we were kissing in the street on our first date. I think I see my neighbour walk past again. He must think I do this every night….

I have no intention of asking him in that night and he seems quite respectful and isn’t really trying it on. So I head inside quite happy with the impromptu date and I’m looking forward to lining up Date 3. 

Date 2 with The Giant

As you may recall, Date 1 of trifecta week was with the 6’6″ guy. It was a great first date and I was really looking forward to seeing him again and we planned a date after work the next week. The day before he said he’d forgotten he had a work thing on and tried to reschedule for two days later, but I was busy and we went back and forth looking for a suitable day until we landed on Saturday.

That was almost two weeks after our first date and I’m a big believer in needing momentum when you’re dating someone so it somewhat deflated my enthusiasm. I also had been at uni all day saturday and was feeling pretty tired, but got ready and headed out to meet him at 7pm.

My foolproof strategy with dating is to always arrive right on time, or a minute or so late so that they get there before me and I don’t wander around looking for my date like a fool! It’s always so obvious seeing the fellow online daters at a bar.

I’m just about there when I get a txt from him saying he is running 15 mins late. Now I hate lateness in general, but who messages saying they’ll be 15 mins late at the exact time you are meant to be meeting!!!

I wait outside txting my girlfriends to pass the time and they try to soothe my temper with words to the effect of don’t let this ruin your night, give him a chance etc. After 20 minutes I am fuming and think to myself that I’m out of there on the dot after 30 mins if he isn’t there. Then I see a giant walking along in the distance (irritatingly he seemed to be strolling along) and he gives me a big smile.

I’m shitty and when we go inside to the bar I don’t even fake offer to pay for the drinks. He owes me for waiting time like how a taxi charges. He leads us outside to the smokers area…..great.

We have some chit chat and it turns out that he is hungover and I am tired so the cheeky banter we had going on during the first date didn’t come out. We had planned to go see a movie and due to his late arrival there wasn’t really time to eat dinner, so we head off to the movies.

We saw the Wolf of Wall Street which was really quite good, but probably a little awkward seeing a movie with so much sex whilst sitting next to someone you haven’t even pashed yet! And because of the lateness and rushed drinks, there wasn’t a lead up that would encourage any kind of affection during the movie, so it was a little weird sitting there.

After the movies I offer to drive him home as it’s really close. He tells me that going to the movies probably wasn’t the best idea for a second date seeing we hardly got to talk. I tell him I had a nice time anyway and we talk about planning a third date. He leans over and gives me a peck on the lips that is really hurried and he practically jumps out of the car.

I drive home a little crushed that it was such a lacklustre date. But I message him when I get home and say that I think we were both too tired to be fun tonight and that I’m looking forward to seeing him again. To encourage affection next time (I really need to kiss him properly to check I don’t have another horrendous kisser on my hands again) I tell him that I kinda regretted not kissing him properly after our first date. He says we will have a quality kiss next time and says goodnight ‘gorgeousness’ and all of a sudden I’m keen on him again.

Yep, that’s all it takes!