When You Just Feel…..Meh

I saw an article in my Facebook feed this week that caught my eye. It was about a dating philosophy adapted from entrepreneur Derek Sivers who once wrote a blog post where he said, “If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no”.

He was using the philosophy in a business sense, but the writer of the article, Mark Manson, believes this should apply to relationships too. He writes:

“The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.”

Read more at http://www.theglow.com.au/lifestyle/how-to-find-the-right-person/#Ch67pps6PCrwthgW.99.

This got my thinking about my recent run of mediocre dates. None of them I felt particularly excited about going on the date with. None of them I had an exciting date with. None of them I was excited to pursue a second date with.

Two of them I thought I would go on a second date with if they asked just to see if things got better on date 2, but I was really feeling quite ‘meh’ about them.

I exchanged a few txts with those two after those dates but I was not excited to see their name flash up on my phone. I also didn’t feel like I wanted to commit to a second date with much notice….probably in case I got a better offer!

I want a man that excites me, but there have been so very few that have done so in my last few years of dating. I think there is also something to just getting out there and meeting people. As my original psychic says ‘you won’t find a man sitting at home watching Masterchef’. Wise words….

I’ve had a lot of friends say to me that excitement can build with someone. I can’t say that has ever really happened to me though. I’ve only ever felt chemistry with someone when it was there from date 1.

So maybe the law of Fuck Yes or No does have some merit?

Now, some updates on the men of my recent roll…

I have let the wine wanker drift off into the sunset. I think he was too much of a fixer upper. Any man that is that clueless on dating at 36 probably needs a lot of help elsewhere too!

The one that wasn’t refined enough was a boring txter and that fizzled out.

The guy I met in the park has repeatedly txted using ‘u’ rather than ‘you’ and ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’. Using shortcuts like ‘u’ was only acceptable in the Nokia days of numerical keypads when you had to press the 8 key (or whatever it was) 86 times to get to the right letter…

The car dealer guy is also a fizzer. We had some tense last minute negotiations the day I picked up my car, which I thought may have deterred him but he is still txting me a lot. But I’m not so keen now. I hadn’t noticed he was a smoker on that first day I went test driving with him, but he was smoking on the day I got my car. He also had a kids drawing on the wall behind his desk this time around so I assume he has a kid. Pass.

But in other news, the red candle will burn out tonight I think. So my unicorn is imminent right? Right?!?!


New Pyschic Says

Black and white portrait of fortune-teller

Early March I went to a psychic event with some girlfriends. It was total rubbish, but I did get something out of it which was a referral to a new psychic.

A woman on our table at the event sounded a bit batty, but she told us about a psychic she had been seeing for years that sounded very much like the one I have been seeing for a few years now – but much cheaper!

When I got back from my holiday I decided to give her a call and book in. She sounds quite old and sweet, so she must be legit right?! I head over to her house and find that she lives in a nice place on the water. Hmmm this psychic gig must pay alright….

I’m a little early and whilst waiting in the car down the road from her house, l all of a sudden get more nervous about this than a Tinder date. So I message Ms E for a security check like I do on first dates so someone at least has my last known whereabouts if I go missing.

When I knock at the door I’m greeted by quite a frail looking elderly lady. I’m pretty sure I could take her if she tries to bash me and steal all my money!

She invites me in and asks me to take a seat at her dining table and offers me a coffee. We sit down and chit chat about her house and the weather before getting down to business. She gives me a deck of well worn tarot cards and asks me to shuffle them and cut the deck into 3 piles.

For the next 30 minutes we repeat the cycle of shuffle, cut and reading about 6 times with her telling me what is in store for me.

Now, the rational and logical side of me always likes to evaluate these readings as a cynic. The curious and creative side of me thinks there has been enough revealed by some of these psychics in the past that could not possibly be guessed, so maybe there is something to all of this.

Further conflict arose between the rational and curious side when the reading from the new psychic was very, very similar to the reading by my other psychic. So they are either both working to the same psychic fraudster playbook, or I got a second opinion from a qualified source of truth ;p

There are some basics that I think could certainly be guesses by these psychics. For example, each of them start the reading saying that they think I’ve already met my future husband, if not he is imminent.

Rational SSIS thinks this is something a psychic could guess with reasonable confidence that a woman that looks like she is in her 30’s without a ring on her ringer probably wants to hear this right?

Both say that this man is my soulmate and we will marry soon and be together forever. Well, it feels unlikely that they would want to say ‘you will meet your husband and he will be ok for a couple of years, but then bang your best friend’….

Both also say that I’ll have two kids (how unusual) in the next few years and that they will be very close in age. Hmmm well based on biology of a woman in her 30’s that is probably a safe bet!

Both have said that I will always have money, I’ll do ok. So I can keep coming and paying a psychic right?!

Both say that my future husband is in finance or real estate or something involving lots of contracts. Oh and he is tall and attractive. Well that’s surprising that a tall women would end up with a tall man isn’t it….

Both said I’d be taking a holiday with a group of people in the next year, including my future husband. Both mentioned Japan, but that seems to be the holiday destination of choice of late as a number of friends and dates have said they are going there early next year.

Hmmm I think I’ve convinced myself that rational SSIS should win out on this debate now!

But new psychic also told me that I had recently been through a period of stress and that I am about to embark on a period of change. Hmmm people who go to a psychic aren’t usually hoping for change are they?!? No…..

She also told me that I’m my Father’s favourite. Of course. Sorry bro. Also that my brother will get a speeding fine soon. Crap, I forgot to warn him about that!

New psychic also told me that I need to get a red candle and burn it completely and when it’s done, that is when my future husband will be on the scene. Now I love the colour red and have had many a red candle burning in my living room, but when it gets towards the end, there is too much wax and the flame burns low so I just throw it out and start a new candle.

CLEARLY I have been sabotaging my efforts to find a man. If only I knew that my candle burning habits were hindering the search!

Curious & creative SSIS has completely embraced this advice.

Burn red candle. Burn, baby, burn!

Marilyn Monroe is Sabotaging Me

I often get up to some ridiculous and random things with my friends. This past Friday night was no exception!

Ms E had seen a psychic show advertised and considering we are fascinated by them (with equal parts of cynercisn and optimism), we decided to go check it out. 

So along with Ms K (who is probably 98% cynic) we went out for pizza, gelato, wine and psychics – “these are a few of my favourite things”. 

We arrived late and the show had already started. What rude biatches, they would have known we were on our way….surely?!?

The psychics could not have looked more stereotypically psychic like. One had a Fleetwood Mac vibe with long blonde stringy hair that looked like it hadn’t been trimmed since 1986 and was wearing a purple velour jacket. Another had a flowy top with sequins on and was clutching a crystal ball. The last was wearing a pink sparkly kaftan, a long hair piece ponytail and came out dancing and clapping together what I assume were chakra sticks. Oh this will be fun!!

Both of the psychics were complete rubbish and clearly fraudsters of the Mentalist variety! They moved through the room picking people that they were supposedly drawn to and asked question after question, generally guessing the wrong things as the subjects continually said ‘no that’s not right’. 

But Purple Velour was not a psychic, she was a Feng Shui expert. Ok, I’m listening….

I’ve read about feng shui a bit, but frankly it all sounded a bit too ‘moonbeams, rainbows and mung beans’ for my liking. Purple Velour gave us a talk about using feng shui for love, particularly what not to do and it seems that Ms E and I are single because of our decorating style. Obviously. Why didn’t we think of that?!?

So things that are bad: 

White in the bedroom – too crisp, cool, not warm enough for luuuuuuurve. However, I may be offsetting this one as apparently reds, pinks, purples and golds add warmth and passion and I have lots of purple cushions on my bed. Lots. Too many perhaps. 

Cluttered bedsides – apparently I’m doing well with matching bedside tables and lamps, but the fact those bedsides are generally full with candles, my laptop, iPad, books, jewellery etc it is bad, bad, bad!

Not making the bed – I pretty much make the bed most days, but there is the odd occasion I leave it as is. No more!

Odd numbers – everything should be in a pair. No odd numbers as that attracts being single rather than being part of a couple. Now I have a lot of candles that are lone soldiers, but I also have many sets of three. If this tip was really that powerful, I can’t understand why I’m not having more threesomes. Ok. Any.

Sleeping with an ensuite door open – drains energy from the bedroom apparently. Must shut that tonight!

Images of single women – surrounding yourself with images of single women projects what you want to be. Fail! I have this painting of Marilyn Monroe looking all gorgeous and sexy in the living room which I love, but clearly she has been ruining my love life!! I also have these retro champagne posters in my hallway – featuring women all alone (although they too are sexy women). The suggested fix for this was to display pictures of a happy couple. Ms K at this point asked if I’d like a massive wedding photo of her and her husband to display on her wall. Ummmmm thanks but…..

Tv in the bedroom – this always comes up as a passion killer, but I adamently disagree! I actually love my bedroom, I’ve always thought that it has quite a relaxing, comfy vibe and it’s nice to lay down and watch a movie in….particularly with spooning….particularly with ice-cream spooning too. Ooohhh what a fantasy….

Anyhoo, Maz is staying on the wall as I love, love, love her. What’s the worst that could happen? Some sexy buxom blonde comes into my life?!? I’m willing to take that chance!

But I did clear my bedside tables and remove my threesome candles from my bedroom this morning before leaving the house.

I also googled some more feng shui tips during a lull in class at uni today. Apparently if I turn on both my bedside table lamps at the same time every night, leave them on for at least 3 hours and turn them off at the same time every night for 27 consecutive days, my unicorn will instantly appear! 

I Don’t Date Neighbours….Anymore

Its All About Location Destination Best Area Spot Place

I think I was almost picked up in the lift at home yesterday. It was really very strange and unexpected!

I was heading out to the car wash and waiting for the lift to take me down to the garage when two guys walked into the building, shirtless and wearing boardies with towels wrapped around their necks. I assumed they had been at the pool (I know, I’m a freakin’ genius….) so I said hi and asked them how the pool was.

They replied that it was full of kids and balls (the bouncing kind, not the old man wearing boardies that are too short kind…) and one of them hit the ‘up’ button for the lift to head to their apartment. When the lift came it was going down first, so I walked in but realised one of the guys was following me. I told him that it was heading down and he replied, “yeh I’ll ride with you” and said “see ya soon” to his mate who was still waiting in the hallway.

The trip being just one level down was short, but he managed to ask where I was off to and told me with a cheeky grin that I was wasting my time getting the car washed as it was going to rain. Then as the doors opened and I was about to get out of the lift, he says that they are having a BBQ that night and if I am free I should join them.

Ohhhhhh…..ummmmm…..thanks for the random invitation neighbourino! I told him I already had plans unfortunately and that I’d see him around and went off on my merry way.

In hindsight, that was actually probably less weird that the neighbour BBQ invitation that I did go to from the Detective. All the contact that I’d had with him before I went to his do was based on a paper invite slid under my door one day. BUT I did know he was a Detective from the real estate agent AND that he was mega tall BUT also that he looked a little like Mr Bean….which when I liked him I put to the back of my mind, but now if I ever think of him I do picture the actual Mr Bean…AND also my psychic had told me that I’d meet a guy in law enforcement, so I HAD to go to that party.

Psychic didn’t say shit about meeting a dude in a lift, so alas it was never going to work out between me and the lift guy. Obviously!


Psychic Says


I generally consider myself a rational and intelligent woman. There are two things that tend to disprove this theory:

1. I love watching Neighbours – yes I am the only one in Australia still doing so.

2. I willingly hand over $160 once a year to a woman with a black cat and a crystal ball.

Three years ago I was referred to a ‘clairvoiant’ by a friend from work. I was lured by her review that the psychic had told her things about her family that she could not have possibly guessed. So myself and two other girlfriends booked in and headed off one Saturday for our readings.

The reading is done at her house at a little table near a window. We are all in there for an hour each, in which time our palms are read, we hold the crystal ball to impart our ‘energy’ and finally tarot cards are read. The psychic asks only our first name and date of birth, but not the year.

Each of the three times that I have been, she always starts with reading my palm and seems to think that I must already be married according to my ‘marriage’ line. Each time I reluctantly say no as I do not want to lead my reading if she is fishing for info like ‘the Mentalist’, but considering I am mostly seeing her to find out when my future husband is going to make an appearance, I feel I have to throw her a bone.

Whilst reading my palms on my first visit, the pyschic said they were giving off my own psychic energy and pointed out the purple glow. I looked down at my hands and they were indeed a blueish tone. But I was not cold and as the psychic was looking down at the lines on my palm with a magnifying glass, I looked around the room searching for where this mysterious blue light was coming from, but I couldn’t see anything suspicious.

My reading progressed with insights into my personality which definitely rang true, but I didn’t get anything too specific about my future out of that reading. She did tell me that she saw a man in law enforcement coming my way and that I would practically fall over him, I wouldn’t need to go searching for him, but nothing else that was too interesting. At the following reading which was in early October last year, I got much of the same info again. However, by mid October I had met that law enforcement guy.

A detective moved in one door down the hall in my apartment building and despite my reservations about that being a little too close for comfort, we got involved and it ended in a spectacular fashion. It’s now just a wee bit awkward that I might run into him in the hallway – with his girlfriend who has since moved in and their new baby who was born about 7 months after I stopped seeing him. I think the baby might be mine….

Anyway, on the last visit to the psychic this year, she said she was glad it didn’t work out with that detective as he was incapable of being faithful. Could she have not told me (or his baby mama) that before?!?! She also described another guy who I was dating after the detective who I really liked and thought I could actually get serious with, but alas he ended up moving away for a new job. Again, where was that warning?!?

However my most recent prediction is far more specific. We are now on the hunt for a man of Irish descent, called Lachlan with a surname something like Flanagan, Finnagin, Flarrity or O’Brien.

Last month I attended an industry event and met a Flanagan. My heart skipped a beat when he introduced himself. Could it be true?!?! Could this be my future husband? Turns out probably not. I think he may have been gay. Well, that must be the reason why he hasn’t asked me out. Right? Right?!?!

So let’s keep our eyes peeled for this Lachlan guy everyone, eyes peeled!!

If the psychic said it, it must be true….