My Game of 1-100

I have a theory that the men that display bad dating behaviour, you know, things like planning a second or third date with you but ghosting before it happens, do so because they have so much choice. They can easily and quickly meet women near them via Tinder and you can be supposedly ‘upgraded’ and cast aside before you know it.

It’s definitely due to the man drought. Yes, there is a statistically proven man drought in Sydney where women in their 30’s outnumber men, but that’s just accounting for quantity. Compounding the drought impact is that the men that we do have access to are largely of the quality that you wouldn’t even take an Uber ride with, let alone go on a date with.

I never hear anyone say “oh I have this single guy friend who is so smart and nice looking, so funny, has his shit together, wants to meet a nice girl, but just can’t find one”. NEVER. But you hear it all the time about great women looking for a nice guy and I know a number of them!

I’ve met a lot them whilst doing things like speed dating, via this blog and even through Tinder. Yes, the strategist in me decided one day to check out the women on Tinder to see what my competition was like and I ended up befriending a girl. Sure there are a lot of train wreck duds on there, but there seems to be A LOT of quality women too. Dang it…

It appeared that men have an abundance of good options at their disposal if they just take a little time swiping through the occasional lady dud. I assume guys would have a high swipe right strike rate, perhaps they are even at risk of RSI, but I estimated that I swipe right less than 2% of the time.

So when I restarted my Tinder account to find Mike, I decided to put it to the test and play the 1-100 game from Sex and City. In the ep Carrie and Charlotte are sitting at a table outside a cafe and for every man they see walk past, they note down whether they would want to sleep with him based on first impressions.

As I swiped though the Tinder profiles, I screen shotted each of the men and decided based on their first pic only if I would swipe right or not to them. It took less than 15 minutes to get through 100 profiles (those in the pic, blurred for some privacy…) and I was quite surprised by the result.

Out of those 100 men, if I only got to see that one pic I would have swiped right to 14. Maybe Tinder was serving up the most popular profiles because it thought I was a newbie and needed to be wowed, but I was really surprised by liking 14% of the guys.

Of course, although first impressions are a strong factor in dating, it is not everything. I’m not shallow enough / I’m far too picky to make life decisions on just one pic. In fact, if a guy only has one pic I swipe left as I assume that they randomly nailed that one hot pic and they look nothing like that photo. Maybe I have trust issues….

Of those 14 guys, after further investigation into the rest of their profile only 6 continued to hold my interest. I matched with 5 of those 6, but 2 never bothered chatting, 1 was too short, 1 had kids, the last was boring as shit.

From 14 to 0 in record time. The drought continues….

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The search is over!!!

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Yes the search has ended – but it is incomplete.

I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks again as I have had no luck finding anyone interesting enough to go on a date with. Over lunch early last week I was complaining about this to Ms A, but by the end of the week I was actually feeling more positive.

All of a sudden it was like there was a flood of new talent on Tinder! I was swiping right and getting matches left, right and centre. I had started talking to a guy who was rocking a pretty sexy beard. Now, I’ve always been attracted to the real ‘manly’ type and have never had a real objection to facial hair, but lately it’s been a strong attraction towards it. As long as it’s not the hipster type beard accompanied with skinny jeans…

Anyway, I had met a sexy bearded and slightly younger man, but alas he was also slightly shorter. Then yesterday I started talking to another bearded man, slightly older. We launched straight into quite intellectually stimulating conversation and had a lot of back and forth of messaging over the course of the day. He seemed funny (tick), smart (tick), has his shit together (tick).

Later that evening about 10pm I was watching a movie and he sends me a message. We keep chatting for the next 2 hours and cover a lot of ground. He seems kinda awesome and it seems to be going well so far, so I start thinking I might be meeting this guy soon.

We say goodnight and exchange the standard pleasantries about it being nice talking to each other. This morning I’m awake early and what so often happens, I waste about 30 mins fluffing about looking at stuff on my phone, including checking Tinder. Nothing new really. I’m on Facebook when I see an alert come through that the bearded man has sent me a message.

I finish reading what I was looking at and pop back into Tinder. There is no message there now. He is not there anymore. He has flipping unmatched me after sending who knows what in the message because he unmatched me and that takes all the messages away.

So one can only wonder what that message said now. Was it that he had a terminal illness and that today is his last day to live and he wanted to spare me the pain and grief of his death? Was it that he had a wife and 16 children at home and he was just on Tinder testing if he was still ‘hot or not’? Was it that he had no penis, actually no human genitals at all and when he takes off his pants he is often mistaken for Barbie?

My bet is the last one. It seems the most plausible.

I was at a kids party on Saturday complaining to Ms C about the lack of talent out there and how frustrating the man hunt is. She told me what I’m so often told, that it will happen when I least expect it. I’m always told too that when I stop looking for it, it will turn up.

So I’m going to stop looking. I’m deleting Tinder, POF, RSVP and eHarmony from my phone tonight. I’m out!

Come and get me fate!!!!

The Upgrade Factor

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A few weekends ago a very interesting article appeared in the Good Weekend liftout of the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper about Australia’s Most Wanted online daters. I’m not sure why they struggled to get in contact with me for the story…

They interviewed people who were ranked as the most desirable profiles on various dating sites. The top female profile on RSVP belongs to a 30 yr old attractive solicitor from Sydney who completely nails what I have long suspected is the problem with online dating – the upgrade factor!She talks about how you go through profiles and analyse them against each other and that ‘everyone thinks there is something better around the corner.’

I completely agree with this comment and I feel that the upgrade factor likely explains the bad dating behaviour of late from the likes of the one with the little sausage and dodgy Damo.

But I will admit that I have done it myself. Oh he seems ok, but he lives in a share house. Oh he seems alright, but he has a cat. Oh he seems perfect, but his front left tooth is not quite exactly perpendicular to his gum line….

There is a man drought in Australia at the moment, particularly in Sydney (it’s statistically proven) which means men can be very picky as they are swimming in a big sea of women in their 30’s on the hunt for love (AKA me!).

Unfortunately for me though, the man sea is full of the type of fish that John West rejects.

Picture Source: Most Wanted, Sydney Morning Herald. Go read the article!