Generally when I talk with my girlfiriends about the men that I am dating, I refer to them as their ‘character’ name, i.e. the Detective, the Porsche Dude, the Canberra Guy, 6’6″ Dad etc.
I feel that it makes it easier for them to remember who is who during my prolific dating bursts, but it could also be a sign of me not committing to calling them a name until I think they could be more than a character in my dodgy dating play.
This happened a month or so ago with a guy called Damian – but let’s call him Damo for short. I met him on Tinder one night and the app showed him to be just 2kms away. It turned out that he lived in the next suburb and because he worked in real estate, we got chatting about the local area and houses and we discussed when I moved to the area, where I’d moved from etc.
The chat went really well and he asked if I’d like to catch up for coffee some time. He gave me his number and I said I’d give him a call to line something up. He sounded great and I was really looking forward to speaking with him, so I called him the next afternoon on the drive to uni. When we spoke we exchanged the usual pleasantries and then he launched in with ‘so I have to tell you I know your name is <insert real name here> and you live at <real address> and you used to live at <old real address>’. I immediately freak out wondering how he knows this? Do we have a mutual friend? Is he stalking me? Is he a weirdo??? Turns out yes….but let’s not ruin the story just yet.
There are many things that you know not to tell people that you have just met online for safety reasons. Of those things, saying that you bought your apartment 5 years ago didn’t occur to me to be a danger topic. But as he works in real estate at a local agent, he has access to a settlement database and took the liberty to look me up. Ok, so it’s weird, but at the time I thought that it was probably ok as firstly, if I had access to a system that like, I would definitely be utilising it for background checks on my dates (#noboundaries)! Second, he told me about it straight up. He could have kept that information up his sleeve for his own purposes right?
So we arrange to meet on Wednesday night and considering he already knows almost everything about me, I agree to him coming to pick me up from home which I wouldn’t usually do on a first meet! But also, he has a bit of an online presence as a real estate agent in balmain so I feel somewhat confident that I won’t be axe murdered, but I give my girlfriend all the info I have on him just in case I go missing!
He comes to pick me up in his beautiful black BMW and I’m kinda impressed. He is standing against the car waiting for me and he is all suited up from work. He opens the door for me like a gentleman and I notice that he has a cheeky smile, both factors making him really quite attractive. We head into balmain to go to a little wine bar. When we get out of the car at the bar I notice that he is a little bit shorter than me. On my Tinder profile I mention that I am 5’10. I’d asked him before we met how tall he is and he said 5’10”. I was wearing heels, but intentionally small ones as I thought we’d be the same height, but I still suspect he was more like 5’9″ (as we know, guys always add an extra inch).
But he doesn’t seem to care that I’m taller and I put it out of my mind. We go inside and sit at a cosy booth in the corner. The bar is almost empty, but it has a nice vibe. We order red wine and get chatting. He is a complete joker, making little smart ass comments every 5 seconds. It is immediately flirty between us, we order some food and sit nice and close whilst sharing the dishes eating from the same plate as we are sitting at a tiny little table.
Eventually we go to leave and as he had decided after his second wine to leave his car at the bar so that he could drink more wine, we need to find a cab. One arrives almost instantly and we head home. When we get to my place, he jumps out of the cab with me which I didn’t take as a sign of him expecting to come inside really. He may have even said something like he just wanted to say goodbye to me properly.
So we stand out the front of my apartment building in the street which is very well lit and say goodbye with some kissing. At one point I notice my next door neighbour walk past whilst we are kissing in the street like teenagers. That is a little embarrassing….
Damo had realised in the cab that he had left his house keys back in his car, so when another cab pulls up to drop one of my neighbours home, he seizes the opportunity and grabs the cab to go get his keys.
He messages me later and it seems like all in all a great date was had and I am looking forward to seeing him again.