Tinder – a Slideshow of my Past

I haven’t been doing much dating lately. I felt over online dating so I deleted all the apps and thought I’d prefer to meet someone out and about. But then I got the plague for two months and didn’t go out much at all.

A few weeks back I decided to try an online dating site I hadn’t used before called Elite Singles. It seemed good in theory and I remember discussing it with Ms A who thought that there should be a better calibre of man on there based purely on the branding. Surely all the riff raff would self select themselves out of something called ‘Elite Singles’ as they knew they were not elite.

No. Turns out most men have alarmingly high self esteem. There were many, many men on there that were not elite at all. The worst of which had the style of the guys in Warrant and I was stuck with Sweet Cherry Pie stuck in my head for days.

But after speaking with some of my single girlfriends last week, I was encouraged to give Tinder another look. I loaded the app up again, adjusted my search settings to a nice broad 30-45 age range with 20 kms distance (see I’m being more relaxed on my criteria these days…) and started flicking through.

Within minutes of swiping I was reminded as to why I gave up on Tinder. It is seriously like a fast moving slideshow of my dating past in recent years. It’s always the same people!

Guy I dated once but was dull – swipe left

Guy I spoke with once but was a bad speller – swipe left

Guy who was my very first Tinder date – swipe left

Guy I worked with (and I’m pretty sure he’s married) – swipe left

Guy I dated a few times and he went AWOL (dang it, I assumed he died….) – swipe left

Mike (still 42 surprisingly) – swipe left

Guy who is my friend’s ex – swipe left

6’6″ ‘my share house smells like dog‘ dad- swipe left

Guy I spoke with and he irritated the crap out of me – swipe left

Guy who is definitely my type, if he had 3 more inches – swipe left

Asshole frenchie – swipe left

Guy who is physically my type, but when we chatted was dumb as shit – swipe left

Guy who I spoke with and was a weirdo stalker – swipe left.

Sigh. Happy Groundhog Day!

Dating Disasters – Share Your Story

Recently I was sent a link to the BuzzFeed article 12 First-Date Disasters You’ll Be Glad You Weren’t Part Of by another seriously single in Sydney lady. I eagerly clicked the link thinking, ‘oh yeh, these will make me think I’ve gotten off lightly’, but no, no such luck.

There is a story about a money hungry date – never happened to me, just tight ass dates.

Another about a guy being late – wow, drama. Happens. All. The. Fucking. Time.

One about a guy who doesn’t like reading so he automatically doesn’t make the cut  – so harsh and judgemental to be dismissed for a simple difference in recreational activities. Like, who does that chick think she is……oh yeh, just referring to my list….I’ll be quiet now.

Then one about a whale shark style kisser who obviously had NFI what to do – again, wow, drama. Happens. To. All. Of. Us. Remember the 37 year old virgin?

But then there is a story that is a little unique I think…..but it has happened to me. The wallpaper story is about a girl who goes home to a muso guys place and when he shows her some music on his computer, she notices that her photo is his desktop wallpaper. How very, very awkward.

Weeeeeeeeeelllllllllll, that kinda happened to me in reverse. Unfortunately. On that date with the Englishman where we watched a movie, I suggested we watch something that I had already downloaded. I open my laptop with him sitting next to me and it opens to the last thing I was doing when I shut it earlier that morning, which was syncing my phone. I had downloaded hundreds of pics from my phone and the most recent were showing…….which were some pics he had sent me that day…..and no, they weren’t dick pics but he was in his undies for some reason…..¯\_(ツ)_/¯….. He noticed immediately,  looked at me like I was a total psycho and asked if me I was a bunny boiler.

Ummmm #totesawkward.

Anyhoo, I think the bad dates mentioned in that article are nowhere near what a bad date really is. I want to hear your stories and I’ll even make it worth your while. As a reward for the story that I like the most and for your dating pleasure, the good folk at Durex have kindly offered up a goodie pack of gels and condoms etc. Which could be very useful if you should ever get a date again….depending on how bad your story is!

Email me your bad date story at seriouslysingleinsyd@gmail.com by Sept 15 to be considered. The story will be posted to the blog with your anonymity protected. Australian residents only sorry.

I look forward to reading your tales of woe….and hopefully feeling better about myself in the process ;p

Trying Something New

I have rubbished speed dating in the past because of the 5 or 6 times that I’ve done it, all but one session has been really terrible. On one occasion I was stuck on a wine tour bus in the Hunter Valley on a 45 degree day with a psycho that decided we were destined to get married within 5 minutes of meeting. On another I had to endure a 15 minute date with a man who was a courier and thought that I wouldn’t understand what that involved from the title, so told me about the type and size of all the parcels he delivers in great (excruciating) detail.

I said after those two last disasters that I would never try it again….but I think we all know by now that I never stand by my word on these things….

SSIS: “I’m never using Tinder again….”

SSIS: “I’m never buying RSVP stamps again….”

Anyhoo, I had been keeping my eye on a new company called CitySwoon who was doing speed dating events, but they were a little different to the norm.  They had held a games night at the Arthouse recently which sounded like fun, but had sold out of female tickets by the time I went to book.

When I saw that the next event was for speed dating combined with the movie Trainwreck which I definitely wanted to see, I thought what’s the worst that can happen? Even if all the guys are duds, at least I’ll enjoy the movie….

So when the night rolled around last Friday, I arrive at the cinemas on time at 6:30pm and I’m greeted by someone from CitySwoon. He gives me an allocated seating movie ticket randomly plucked from a pile and tells me to head in to the cinema by 6:45pm. I grab a drink and when I find my seat inside, I’m on the aisle and there is already a guy sitting in the seat next to mine, who I assume is my date.

He immediately confirms this by introducing himself and we get chatting. He seems nervous as he rapid fire tells me about his recent holiday for a few mins, but then eases into it and conversation flows effortlessly for the 20-25 mins of trailers whilst the cinema fills.

I’ve always found movie dates when it’s very early days with someone quite awkward, but this time I felt that it gave an interesting insight into my date’s personality. In a few places through the movie my new friend found some scenes hilariously funny with a big boisterous laugh almost leaping out of his seat, but usually at things I didn’t find that funny. The same seemed to happen in reverse when I found things really funny.

When the movie ends we are to head to the Gold Class bar for some speed dating. Although I enjoyed my conversation with my movie date, he isn’t my usual type and I couldn’t really see myself wanting to go on a real date with him. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and tell him I’ll see him at the bar.

After the usual epic female toilets queue, I get to the bar to find myself at the end of an even longer drinks queue for our group, which wouldn’t be so bad except I’m stuck in the middle of a group of girls. I make chit chat and hope that I don’t leave here having only achieved meeting some cool chicks….as so often happens to me.

After getting a drink I see that the group are pairing off whilst we wait for the arranged dates to start, so I look around, see a tall guy standing by himself and approach him. After a few mins of chatting, I’m not feeling it and he flips open his phone case to check if we’ve been sent anything by CitySwoon yet and I notice that his screen saver is a pic of a young child.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I’m out.

When everyone has their drink, the dates begin. We all get a txt asking us to log in to the CitySwoon site where our first match will be revealed. We’ve apparently been matched based on the profile questions that we had to fill out on the website prior to the event. We are not really given any insight into how this matching program works, but I assume at the very least it’s looking at things like age, smoking, kids, height etc.

I eagerly look at my match. At the top of the screen I see his name and which end of the bar to meet him at and as I continue scrolling I see……a smile with a great big gap between the teeth. It’s ironic in the Alanis Morrisette kinda way.

I meet my date and yes the teeth thing is one of my weird quirks I know, but he is also shorter than me so I think we are equally as uninterested in each other. We have somewhat awkward chit chat, which is mostly me talking to fill the gap.

After what seems like a very short period of time (yay), we get another txt and a new match delivered on the website. My next match is the first guy’s friend. Also not my type, also slightly awkward chit chat.

The rest of the dates continue a little like that, but I must say everyone is in a good mood and they are mostly a fun group. There were two good looking tall guys out of my 7 matches, both I had great chats with, but both were late 20’s I think (indeed one definitely said he was 28). The age range for the event was meant to be 30-50, so maybe they fibbed on their profile?!

The night ends, I haven’t met anyone I’d be inclined to actively pursue, but maybe I’d want to catch up with the young tall guys if they contacted me. Maybe…

But I had a fun night and there were no psychos, so it exceeded my expectations. I provided feedback at the end that I like the concept of ‘matched’ speed dating where your dates are based on some kind of logic rather than just getting 12 guys and 12 girls in a room and seeing if magic happens, but I feel that most people have those fundamental deal breakers that must be met for the concept to work. Like smoking, kids and especially height for me and many women I know.

One of the guys even said to me ‘wow you make me feel short’. Geeze, thanks buddy, I now feel like a giraffe…

My Arranged Online Marri…Matches

A few weeks ago I received an email from RSVP reminding me that the stamps I had purchased recently were about to expire. RSVP is free to exchange ‘kiss’ messages to gauge interest, but you need to pay for stamps to be able to email people. I had just two days to use them, or lose them.

Before these stamps, I had once purchased a pack of 24 stamps as those sneaky fuckers make bulk buying so damn economical that you can’t say no! If I bought 24, it was only $5 a stamp and I had a year to use them. I thought at the time, well that’s just like buying someone a coffee and I’d always be happy to do that, so I’ll go the bulk pack. That was a mistake as I really struggled to shift those 24 stamps.

History repeated itself with these new stamps. I had been browsing RSVP and saw a guy that I had dismissed on Tinder because he had just one pic and in that pic he looked like he had a giant forehead. Yes, I know what you’re thinking….

Anyhoo, when I saw him again on RSVP I had access to more info than what was displayed on Tinder and I thought he sounded quite interesting and well suited to me. Perhaps there is a lesson there about first impressions? Wait for it….

So I sent him a kiss to see if he was interested, he sent back a positive response, so the ball was in my court to cough up for a stamp so we could email each other.

But you can’t buy just one stamp. Grrrr those sneaky fuckers! The minimum you can buy is 3 stamps, they are $15 each and they expire within 30 days. Sometimes you start talking to someone, realise they are a bore and it fizzles out without meeting. That’s ok at $5 an attempt, $15 is a little more annoying, but if I end up only talking to that one guy in that month, that is $45 just to talk to him. I could call a phone sex line for less….I think?!

But in the spirit of YOLO, I click purchase and I’m away! We exchange those first few boring generic online dating emails and after a week it hadn’t ramped up into anything interesting so I was out. See, the big forehead was a sign….

I looked through RSVP over the next few days but nothing else caught my eye and I then forgot about it until I received the 2 day expiry warning. So I get back on RSVP and look again, but alas there is no interesting new stock on display.

I tell Mr B-Dawg (he requested a cool name?!?) about my plight. He suggests I wildcard it to use the last two stamps and just randomly select someone and see what happens. I tell him I’ve already spoken with all the good ones and there are only undesirable candidates left. He accuses me of being too picky and he does not believe that there are no eligible bachelors left on RSVP.

Well, I’m happy to get a second opinion and particularly a qualified opinion as Mr B-Dawg and I are both into guys. I give him my RSVP login and password and tell him to find me a man!!

I nervously await the result and Mr B-Dawg comments that we have the same taste in men as he can see all the men that I’ve already contacted. Ok, feeling reassured….

When I log in to see who my future husband is, I’m confused by what he thinks my taste in men is. The first guy I see is ‘ladiesgiddyup’. Usually I would dismiss this guy based purely on his douchey mcdouchey username, but he amps up the douche factor with his profile pic which shows him with his hands gesturing to his crotch area. Yeh, I get it dude….

Ok, one wrong turn is ok B-Dawg. Next up is ‘UKclosedmouth’ (obviously not his real name). He looks ok, but I avoid guys from the UK if I can’t see his teeth in his pics as I have experienced too many English folks with feral teeth to risk it again. I know, so judgemental….don’t hate me UK readers!

Next is outdoorsy guy. He is good looking, ruggedly handsome BUT in his main profile picture he is wearing a khaki shirt and the rest of his pics feature him fishing. His profile speaks of loving the outdoors and nature and……camping. Look I love nature too, but from a boat or seaside balcony with a glass of wine. Highly incompatible.

Maybe fourth time lucky? The next guy I’ll admit I’ve looked at a few times before and found his profile pics attractive, BUT both of the pics show him with his mouth shut, no sign of teeth. Other than that he seems to tick my boxes based on his profile. Tall, 35, non-smoker, no kids, not a vegetarian, occasional drinker, possibly smart as he has a post grad education. Ok, we have a winner!

I use stamp number 2 on him and we start emailing. Success!

No. That was short lived. On his second email he told me he worked ‘mixing drugs in a lab and it’s just like cooking, but instead of food I’m using drugs’.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I’m out.

Maybe it was a legitimate pharmacist job. Maybe he was saving lives. Maybe he was about to cure cancer. Maybe he would have been my unicorn.

BUT he also lived in the Shire (which no one but Shire people like) and that combined with the dodgy job AND the potential lack of teeth was just too big a risk to take ;p

Things That Make You Go… No.

I was perusing Plenty of Fish (POF) again the other night. I know I’ve said it before, but it is hands down the worst online dating site. Why do I continue to look there? It is also often the most amusing.

I receive a message from a new guy so I check out his profile and notice that he only has one pic up. I’m usually immediately deterred by that, but I was intrigued by his beard and hairy chest as I have a weakness for the manly man. In hindsight his moustache is a little creepy though….

We get chatting and it’s mostly about food, particularly a shared passion for burgers. Well, well, well, I think we are going to get along just fine…

It’s getting late but he asks if he can call me as he is feeling ‘too lazy to type’. Uh huh. I don’t really want to give him my number just yet, so I say goodnight and leave it at that.

He messages first thing in the morning and is keen to chat again, but I’m keen to actually see a pic of him before going any further. I ask him to upload another pic to his profile. It’s amazing how a sexy shirtless, bearded, hairy chest man can suddenly turn into this…

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I’m out. Stupid hat.

I sent the first pic to my friend Mr B and he replies “No face? No Nipple?” I then send the second pic and his response is “Oh that’s so depressing”.

YES!!! He knew he was leading me on with Mr Sexy before revealing Mr Goofy.

New dating rule. Always ask to see face AND to see nipple within 10 messages or less!

Ok, maybe not. But it would feel right at home amongst my list of other random criteria that leads to a yes or no decision when I’m online dating. Other highlights include:

Dumb Face – Just like some women suffer from ‘bitchy resting face’, many men seem to possess ‘duh yep’ face.

Creepy Face – I once worked with someone that was a bit of a weird character and when I told another colleague that they had left, that person said “fuck I’m glad he is gone. He looked like the type that you would go around to his house and there would be ears in his freezer”. Many, many men on Tinder look like ear collectors….

Bad Teeth – I know many a supermodel has made a career with gappy teeth, but I just can’t do it. Nor missing teeth, rabbit teeth, tiny teeth, no teeth…

Short Head – I think I have perfected predicting a man’s height by the size of his head to about a 96.48% accuracy rate. Yes, most probably think head size is not proportional to height. I disagree.

Reflective Clothing – Yes I know, I know….so judgey.

Smokers – I love when smokers include a pic of them flamboyantly sucking on a ciggie or blowing smoke which they obviously think makes them look très cool. No, it doesn’t. Glad we sorted that out early. Swipe left. This also includes the occasional/social, trying to quit smokers. Who do you think you’re kidding?

Lazy Typers – There is absolutely no excuse for typing ‘u’ for ‘you’ anymore. None. Nada. Ok, maybe if you are still using a Nokia 5110 and have to press the 7 key 18 times to get the u. Actually then I wouldn’t date him either as he clearly is a tight ass with tech…

Kids – Firstly I don’t want to date someone with kids, but even so I find it a bit wrong to be including pics of kids in dating profiles for the world to see. Good parenting there…

Outside 15km – As if my soulmate would live that far away. Seriously. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Ok I lie, I usually only search 10km….

Gamers – No. You’re an adult. Stop it. Now.

Motorbikes – Hate them. I once had a very, very embarrassing experience with one whilst on holiday. Never doubling on one again. Plus guys that ride bikes are a different breed I find.

Car Unenthusiasts – Yep, I’m making that a word. If a guy refers to cars as ‘just something to get from A to B’, I’m out. Irreconcilable differences.

Unusual Spelling of a Traditional Name – Ok it’s not their fault i know, but I can’t marry a redneck…

Vegetarians – One word. Bacon.

Non Drinkers – I fear they would be appalled by how much time I spend in the bath drinking wine. And how much wine…

Camping – It’s just dumb.

I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Remember how I was obsessed by that Married at First Sight show? Half way through the Aussie series I couldn’t get enough with just my weekly local fix, so I binge watched season 1 & 2 of the U.S. series too.

I find the social experiment fascinating, but I do feel it’s a bit of a Stockholm Syndrome concept forcing two strangers to live together for a month until they ‘love the one you’re with’.

I had many conversations with both single and coupled up girlfriends about the show whilst it was playing out and funnily enough many of the coupled up ones said ‘I’d go on it if I was single’ but not a single single person said the same. I’m calling bullshit on my coupled up friends on that one!

But casting is open for season 2 of the Aussie version and I was contacted this week via the blog asking if I wanted to apply, or if I knew anyone else who would want to. I was also contacted the day before that about another new dating show that apparently takes up very little of your life for filming.

I’m a no to both as I always wonder how these people ever get jobs again after hysterically crying on national TV over a man they’ve known for 3 hours and who is dating 24 other women at the same time. I feel that doesn’t exactly scream ‘works well under pressure’…

I also worked with a guy who was on a reality show a number of years ago but there is still a clip of him on YouTube dancing all sexy in his undies on the show. Once I found this out (and watched the vid….obviously) I struggled to look him in the eye again. *think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts…

So this dating idea is not for me, BUT I really want someone I know to go on these shows so I can live vicariously through them. Don’t worry, you won’t embarrass yourself, you’ll be the exception to the rule….

Ok, who is going to take it for the team???

I’m waiting…

Return of the Mike

Remember Mike? The missing potentially eligible bachelor? A couple of weeks ago as I was rapidly flicking through Tinder, I saw a familiar face flash across my screen. As often happens when you have swiped left 86 times in a row, it is very hard to stop the momentum.

So his profile was gone. Again. Forever….

Ok maybe not. I wasn’t talking to anyone interesting in my matches chat window and curiosity about Mike got the better of me. I restarted my Tinder profile and got back to swiping, but a little more cautiously than before.

It took a good few days of on and off swiping through likely a thousand or more guys, but I eventually saw his profile again.

When I was first talking to Mike he had one profile pic up. We were exchanging phone numbers to line up a meet, but I would have needed to see more than one pic before I decided to do that of course. I’m still scarred from all those bad teeth incidents…..

Anyhoo, his profile now had three pics. And the two new ones were bad. Very bad. In one he was wearing sunglasses. Yes, this is very common with online dating as most people look hot in sunglasses. Most, but not all…

But these were little John Lennon type glasses. So bad. So very bad. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I’m out.

Before I swiped left I noticed something else didn’t look quite right. I thought he was in his late 30’s when we were last talking, but his profile now says he is 42. I check back to my original blog post about him and his profile last time said he was 38. My post was 6 months ago, not 4 years!

Someone commented on the blog post at the time that they thought he sounded dodgy by the way he was randomly on and off tinder. They suggested he was probably married and couldn’t linger on there for fear of getting caught. Perhaps they were right?!?

Or was I about to be catfished by ‘Mike’? Hmmmm that would have made for a more interesting blog post I guess…

Bon Voyage

I was left feeling quite disappointed after date 2 with the Very Cheeky Englishman. Finally a man that I liked (so far, it was very early days…) and who seemed really into me, but he was soon to disappear. What kind of luck is that?! Yet another case of my bad timing with men.

It did raise a lot of questions for me though. Why did his online profile seem to indicate that he was looking for a relationship, but he is about to head overseas for a while? Why did he not tell me that his departure was imminent before we met in person? Or even on our first date? Or to my face on our second date rather than txt bombing me?

Was this why he was so rushed to see me again? Was he really looking to date, or just to seal the deal before he went away? If so, why did he agree to a very non-sex type of date being a weekday lunch? Is his gentleman-like charm genuine, or just an act for a short lived romance before he leaves? Is he leaving at all, or is it just a ruse to expedite some action?

Oh, I don’t know. If I have learned anything from dating it is that men are generally skittish like birds. They are so unpredictable that there is no point agonising over things they do and say until you really know them and you can establish some consistency to their behaviour.

I considered not seeing him again before he left and waiting until he returned (if he did). I actually told him I felt unsure of how genuine he was seeing he didn’t tell me he was leaving until now. His response was that he told me because he liked and respected me and wanted to tell me before things became more involved, but he is definitely coming back so still thought it was worthwhile us starting to date. He also said that if he didn’t care about me at all, he could have omitted the fact he was leaving from our next date and just disappear. Fair point I guess…

But in the end, I knew that I enjoyed his company, that I was crazy attracted to him and that we definitely had chemistry together which so rarely happens, so I decided to just go with it.

The only time our schedules lined up for the weekend was Sunday lunch. He came to pick me up and we went to the nearby rowers club for lunch by the water. He was dressed casually (unfortunately no suit…) but he still looked great.

We eat and have a lovely time, but I certainly feel like I’m acting with some restraint knowing that whatever happens between us is about to be put on pause for a few months. But having said that, under normal circumstances I would have the same restraint anyway. By date 3 I’m not welcoming deep and meaningful conversations about our future together. I’m not thinking about our labrador’s name and side-by-side burial plots. I’m more focused on deciding if I’m having a good time with him, then eventually (approximately date 27….) it will become clear if there is enough between us to really be with him.

Unless I happen to be dating the Bondi Vet. In that instance I’d be snaffling him up off the market toots sweet…

Anyhoo, it’s not a great day weather wise and its getting cold at the club, so we head back to my place for some more wine and to watch a movie. When we get home, he takes his shoes off and I can’t help but notice that they seem like small shoes. Yep, he is definitely only 5’9″ I think at the time, but I refrain from measuring him…

Eventually it is time for him to leave and we don’t really talk about the fact we won’t see each other for a while. Best to leave it on a high note.

We exchange some txts before he leaves and since he has been gone (a bit over a month now) we have been emailing each other every few days. The emails are mostly light and flirty, but he doesn’t have a definite return date as yet. I’m of course not waiting around for him and am continuing to date whilst he is gone, but I would be keen to see him again when (if) he returns – if he is actually even away!

The Very Cheeky Englishman

Of all the dating sites that I have tried, POF is certainly the worst. I’ve looked at it a few times and have always found that most of the guys can barely string a sentence together. But my friend Ms A was using it and convinced me to give it another look in.

Scrolling through the masses of degenerates someone catches my eye and we get chatting. Mr T has nice pics, he is tall (well 6 foot), has his own business, lives in a nice area, is 40, no kids, a non-smoker, has a coherent profile. Tick, tick, tick.

We chat a little online and exchange numbers. When I call the next day, I get his voicemail and I am surprised to hear an English accent. Oh no, I wasn’t aware of this fact. I didn’t leave a message, rather I jumped straight online to check his profile again. His teeth, I need to see the teeth!! In my experience I’ve met a lot of people from the UK with bad teeth, so I usually avoid them online unless I can clearly see the teeth situation from the pics. Don’t hate me UK readers…

Fortunately he is smiling in his pics, his teeth on full display, they are all there and they are perfect. Phew….

When Mr T calls back we chat for about half an hour and it’s non-stop laughter. He is hilarious. My cheeks actually hurt from laughing when we hang up.

We arrange a date for the following night. He arrives early and txts me whilst I’m still on my way into the city asking what I want to drink so he can have it waiting for me. I tell him that I’ll get something when I get there. First rule of online dating, don’t let them roofie you too easily…

When I arrive I call him to find him as the bar is really busy and I like what I see when I get there. He is very pleasant looking and he seems to quite like me…as he tells me. A number of times. Oh stop it Mr T, no go on, no stop, no go on…

We get a bottle of wine and it disappears fast. I try to buy the second bottle, but he won’t let me claiming that he is a gentleman and that just won’t do. When he returns from the bar which I am sitting with my back to, he swiftly leans down from behind my shoulder and kisses me saying that “he just had to do that”. Ok the cynical ‘I’ve dated a lot of douchey men’ side of me thinks oh what a tosser, but the quite tiddly side of me thinks he is quite lovely…and a good kisser. #winning

The second bottle somehow disappears too and we both need to head to the bathroom (separately of course…) and as we are walking along I notice that I seem a bit taller than him. He was meant to be 6 foot, I’m 5’10”, but I was likely wearing 3 inch heels so I expected a little difference, but this is more than an inch. Whilst wondering that thought he stops me and pulls me in for another kiss. Oh he finds me irresistible. Stop it Mr T, no go on, oh whatevs…..#YOLO.

We get a third bottle of wine and my previous fuzzy thoughts about it probably being a wise idea to get some food have dissipated. Who knows where that bottle goes, but all of a sudden I’m drunk. Drunk, drunkity, drunk, drunk!

Remember how cautious I was about not getting drugged and being incapable of fending off a dodgy internet guy earlier in the night? No? Me either…

After plenty of shameless public pashing it is time to call it a night. He walks me to the cab rank, kisses me and tells me that he really doesn’t want to send me home, but he knows it’s the right thing to do being a gentleman and all. See, he does have morals! He puts me in the back of the cab and then leans into the front window and hands the cab driver cash to take me home. What the hell? How old school. Indeed a gentleman. I’m kinda digging it…

He then proceeds to send me quite dirty txt messages all the way home…..well actions speak louder than words right? ;p

On Standby for my Soulmate

Head and heart

Last week I saw posts kicking around Facebook about a new project that has been designed to find your soulmate just by answering 8 questions. Ok, I’m listening…

I clicked through and the site claims that the average person only gets acquainted with 1000 people before they die (which I think is terribly low?!) and that the odds of your soulmate being 1 in 1000 is very slim.

But through the power of the interweb, this site can increase your chances of finding this person anywhere in the world (that the survey currently covers) if they have also completed the 8 question survey.

These 8 multiple choice questions with 8 possible answers each are apparently (there is not compelling evidence of this) based on the core elements of compatability psychologically. The odds of you answering them exactly the same as someone else are  1 in 16,777,216. If you do, it means that you think exactly the same as someone else, hence they are your soulmate.

There are warnings and disclaimers all over the site. Do not take the test drunk or stoned. Do not overthink your answers. Your soulmate doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic partner, it may just be someone kinda like you. You may hate your ‘soulmate’. Your soulmate may try to extort money from you, avoid this….

Well, what could go wrong huh? I decided to take the test and I was dubious of its validity from Question 1.

I find it hard to believe that a soulmate, particularly a romantic one, should always have the same personality type at a party. Sure, you probably don’t want to be at polar extremes, but there really can only be ONE centre of attention. Also, for those that are highly competitive (ahem…) there needs to be a winner. Doesn’t there?

Surely the centre of attention could be highly compatible with the one that likes to have a really good time, no matter what?

The rest of the questions seem even more trivial. What frustrates you the most, if you had $100K how would you spend it, what would you do first if writing a novel?

But I completed the survey, popped my email address in and confirmed it when the validation email came a few days later.

Now we wait. Likely a very, very long time. At the time of this post, the site indicates that 217K surveys have been completed with 5K matches. Which seems an unusually high success rate considering the initial 1 in 16,777,216 estimate.

I’ll keep you posted….