Dating Disasters – Share Your Story

Recently I was sent a link to the BuzzFeed article 12 First-Date Disasters You’ll Be Glad You Weren’t Part Of by another seriously single in Sydney lady. I eagerly clicked the link thinking, ‘oh yeh, these will make me think I’ve gotten off lightly’, but no, no such luck.

There is a story about a money hungry date – never happened to me, just tight ass dates.

Another about a guy being late – wow, drama. Happens. All. The. Fucking. Time.

One about a guy who doesn’t like reading so he automatically doesn’t make the cut  – so harsh and judgemental to be dismissed for a simple difference in recreational activities. Like, who does that chick think she is……oh yeh, just referring to my list….I’ll be quiet now.

Then one about a whale shark style kisser who obviously had NFI what to do – again, wow, drama. Happens. To. All. Of. Us. Remember the 37 year old virgin?

But then there is a story that is a little unique I think…..but it has happened to me. The wallpaper story is about a girl who goes home to a muso guys place and when he shows her some music on his computer, she notices that her photo is his desktop wallpaper. How very, very awkward.

Weeeeeeeeeelllllllllll, that kinda happened to me in reverse. Unfortunately. On that date with the Englishman where we watched a movie, I suggested we watch something that I had already downloaded. I open my laptop with him sitting next to me and it opens to the last thing I was doing when I shut it earlier that morning, which was syncing my phone. I had downloaded hundreds of pics from my phone and the most recent were showing…….which were some pics he had sent me that day…..and no, they weren’t dick pics but he was in his undies for some reason…..¯\_(ツ)_/¯….. He noticed immediately,  looked at me like I was a total psycho and asked if me I was a bunny boiler.

Ummmm #totesawkward.

Anyhoo, I think the bad dates mentioned in that article are nowhere near what a bad date really is. I want to hear your stories and I’ll even make it worth your while. As a reward for the story that I like the most and for your dating pleasure, the good folk at Durex have kindly offered up a goodie pack of gels and condoms etc. Which could be very useful if you should ever get a date again….depending on how bad your story is!

Email me your bad date story at seriouslysingleinsyd@gmail.com by Sept 15 to be considered. The story will be posted to the blog with your anonymity protected. Australian residents only sorry.

I look forward to reading your tales of woe….and hopefully feeling better about myself in the process ;p

Two of three

Last night was date number 2 – which was a third date with a guy I met on RSVP. He shall be known as the 37 year old virgin for reasons that will soon become apparent.

First date with this guy was two weeks ago. We had coffee and really hit it off talking for 2 hours. He asked if I wanted to see him again at the end and I said yes. We arranged to meet for dinner after work the following week and he booked a lovely, reasonably fancy restaurant on Sydney harbour.

That date also went well, lots of talking, lots of similar interests and goals in life were exchanged and before you knew it, three and a half hours had passed. He walked me to the car, asked to see me again and went in for a kiss. It was terrible. Too wet, too sluggish and too ick.

But I know first kisses are usually a bit crap, so I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. We arranged to meet up again after work this week. I picked the restaurant this time, something a little bit more casual. We went to an Asian restaurant with lots of vibe to it, but he seemed uncomfortable. We ordered and I picked a dish I’d had years ago and had loved expecting that he would also pick something and we’d share. He picked a really plain noodle dish that he seemed to want to eat alone. I was crushed! When you go to an Asian restaurant the whole experience is about picking a few dishes and getting to try lots of flavours!! I had asked if he liked Asian food before picking the restaurant, so why didn’t he speak up if it wasn’t his thing???

Resultantly the dinner was awkward. We left and decided to walk to get gelato. As soon as we left the restaurant he grabbed my hand and tried to give me a kiss. It was awkward too and he kept swinging my arm like we were skipping. I knew at that point I probably wasn’t really feeling this anymore.

We get ice cream, walk around a little by the water and he keeps trying to kiss me and it gets more and more uncomfortable. When we get near to where I parked, we start to say goodbye and he goes in for the full on pash again. He has NFI what he is doing. I wonder if perhaps I’m his first ever kiss? I persevere thinking he may get the hang of it, but no. I try and push his head into a more natural position but it makes no difference. At one point I open my eyes to see him coming back at me, mouth open, tongue poking out and it’s so Kath & Kim I almost laugh.

After a good 3-4 minutes of torture I tell him I better go (it is so late being 9pm and all….) and I head off. He is calling after me saying ‘call me, or txt me…..or send me a carrier pigeon’. Ok I made the last one up…

I walk to the car feeling both violated and disappointed. I had high hopes for this guy. In the car park my spirits are temporarily lifted by a deliciously tall man who I have some cheeky banter with. As I get out the lift I regret not asking if he was single or if I could have his number.

Was this my ‘Sliding Doors’ moment? Would my life have turned off differently if I’d asked him out???

Sigh….