I Did a Bad Bad Thing….

Beautiful vampire with black robe

I have a confession to make. I have done something to a guy that I hate being done to me. I’ve ranted and raved about it before too.

I went AWOL.

Yes, with the trampoliner I had the best intentions the day after my post where I decided that I didn’t like him to actually tell him that I was no longer interested. But I got busy, I got distracted and I just forgot to message him.

When we last spoke, it was a bit of a dull conversation so I would think that he would have noticed that things were not going as well as it had been and that things were heading in the direction that it went. But he did ask at the end of that call about  how my week ahead looked and when I would ‘have time to see him’. Even the way he worded that made him sound a little pathetic.

I kinda fobbed him off as I was really busy that week, then I had quite a lot already planned for the weekend and I didn’t really want to see him on Valentines Day, especially for Date 4. It might have given him too much encouragement….

I did tell him that I would let him know when I was free and we ended the conversation at that. That was the last interaction I had with him.

So it’s not like he has been sending me messages and I’ve been ignoring him, he hasn’t messaged me at all. But I feel bad. It really isn’t hard to send a txt msg to someone saying that you’re not interested, just so they know. I’ve always found it quite freeing when you (or the other person) calls it quits rather than to have something linger on and on where one person may be kept wondering.

So I am fearful what this display of poor dating behaviour on my behalf has done to my dating karma. I hope it doesn’t mean that my future husband will have a little sausage ;p

PS – Here is a link to Chris Isaak’s ‘Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing’ song. It’s in my head, it’s awesome and I had a little crush on Chris Isaak back in the day. There is definitely something a little sexy about him….

The One With the Dreamy Blue Eyes

Guy with cute face

I had a date tonight with a guy with gorgeous blue eyes. Perhaps not Alaskan Malamute Husky level blue, but damn they were nice.

I met him on Tinder late last week. We’d chatted quite a bit on the app and he met my standard list of criteria – yes I am very upfront about this now and it seems to be working a treat (more about that later). He was 33 (like me), 6’5″ (deliciously tall), smart, successful (apparently), funny, cheeky. It was all stacking up to be a good date.

We met after work at a bar and he had warned me that he was rocking a holiday beard as he hadn’t needed to shave for a few weeks so he’d look a little different to his pics. I was expecting a bushranger beard due to the warning, but it was a nicely trimmed manly beard that I really dig. He actually looked better than his pics. Seriously, when does that ever happen. When?!?

We get some drinks and chat flows instantly and becomes progressively sparky and flirty as the drinks disappear. He suggests another round and something to eat and goes and orders for us. Whilst he is gone I txt my friend Ms E who is doing my online dating safety check tonight where I send her EVERYTHING i know about my date, where we are meeting, when etc just in case he abducts me, and tell her that he is freakin’ GORGEOUS! You know, just so the police get the identikit sketch of him right if the need arises….

Dinner is full of sexy eye contact, cheeky giggles and really great conversation. WTF. This is going a little too well you say! Wait for it…

There is some hand touching and that and all signs are pointing to him being pretty keen, but he seems rather gentlemanly about it. We leave that bar and head to another down the street with a little kiss or two along the way, but being a Monday night both places were relatively quiet. We have another drink at the next place and he is clearly trying to step things up a bit to encourage more kissing, but I’m driving home later so I’m nowhere near tiddly enough to find it socially acceptable to be pashing in a bar at 8:30pm on a Monday night.

So I tell him so. He then suggests that we go to my car to kiss as it’s parked nearby. Yup. Seriously. He. Said. That. FML.

I try and shut that one down as politely as I can and he is a smart guy so I assume he would get my subtlety when I say ‘no that’s far too high school’.

He responds with saying that we can go back to his place. Aaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddd I’m out…..

He had paid for everything up to that point, so I get up and go to the bar to pay our bill for the last round. The cute European (of some description) barman says to me in an accent that I have NFI what it is ‘why are you so lovely and he is sitting over there and you are here paying?’

My thoughts exactly buddy! I return to the table. He gets up and in hindsight I now see that he likely thinks my haste to get the bill is my urgent uncontrollable desire to get his clothes off, but I walk outside with him following me and stop on the path and say ‘I’m off that way’ (i.e me, not we), kiss him on the cheek and say goodnight. He replies ‘oh ok, have a good night’ and I’m out of there.

Ms E then gets an update to modify the details of the police identikit sketch briefing to be sure to include a giant cock in the centre of ‘Mr Dreamy Blue Eyes’ forehead.

The one that stalks and drops bombs

Stalker concept.

There are two amazingly beautiful girls at work who I’ve been trying to convince to get on the online dating bandwagon. Which is probably quite surprising (and no doubt unconvincing) considering my blog mostly features dating debacles, but generally I find  meeting new people fun, so it’s not ALL bad…except in the Spitter example.

Their reluctance generally stems from the concern that they may meet weirdos online. Yes you will, there is no may about it. Lots is a definite. Lots of them. Hundreds. Thousands. But you leave those ones online and only advance to the next stage the ones that seem to be 50% or less weird.

I thought I had this process nailed by now. I pride myself on my well honed phone screening process where I have a high accuracy rating of picking if someone is a psycho or not. But I guess no one is infallible…

I was talking with a guy on Tinder who was not quite my usual type, but he gave good chat, lived nearby and was keen to catch up for a casual dinner soon. I like dinner, I pretty much eat it every day, so although it was a quick advancement, I thought why not?!?

This was probably my first mistake as I hadn’t yet obtained insight into the usual things I like to know about a man before leaving Tinder. He had me at 6’6″…..

The second mistake was probably calling him without hiding my number. We started chatting about random things immediately and I can talk rubbish for hours, so it was all going quite nicely with rapid convo and lots of laughs. We were talking about trashy tv and illegal downloading (which I of course do not participate in, no way Mr Internet Sir!) and he throws in that he mostly downloads Disney shows and I immediately think, oh dear what a weirdo watching kids shows.

Wrong. Ka-boom! He follows that up with ‘Oh I should probably tell you that I have a 4 year old daughter. Not sure if that is an issue, or if you even care’. Awkward….

I do care. I never swipe right on guys with kids, or if it comes up in convo whilst on Tinder I’m generally out of there. I just don’t want to date a guy with kids. It’s a personal choice and clearly many people feel the same way as those who have kids and are online dating often frame it in the way that they expect you to have an issue with it.

But instead of saying ‘yes, actually I don’t want to date someone with kids’ I just ploughed on with the conversation whilst thinking about how I’d wrap this up. I would feel like a real bitch to say that to him over the phone, but of course it’s much easier to say online before you’ve been having a great chat for almost an hour.

He then moved the conversation onto work. He’d asked me earlier on Tinder what I did for work and I gave him a really generic answer about what industry I work in. He didn’t get the hint in my vagueness and asked what company and I just said ‘a big one’. He again asked what company I worked for on the phone as clearly we were close now that we had exchanged phone numbers and I again said I didn’t want to tell him just yet.

Things turned a bit weird and I told him I was busy the rest of the week and let’s aim to catch up next week to give me time to extract myself from the situation. Yes, I can see how hypocritical that makes me sound when I complain about men who disappear, but I feel that this guy should have disclosed his offspring situation earlier.

Personally I think it’s mandatory detail to provide in a profile. That, plus if you are a vego, your smoking status and your jockey status….

Anyhoo, he told me that he would easily be able to stalk me via LinkedIn based on what I had told him and that he was up to the challenge. I said good night and hung up. 20 minutes later I get a txt from him giving me his full name so I can stalk him as he says that he has nothing to hide. I ignore it and go to bed. In the morning he sends another txt first thing saying it took him 45 seconds to find me and references my full name.

Ok crazy stalker! I’m out. I un-match him on Tinder and tell my friends about Mr Creepy. One is very concerned for my safety when I say he has my phone number and says ‘geeze I hope he can’t find your address’. That never occurred to me, my number isn’t listed, so why would I be concerned about that!?! She randomly googles my phone number and finds my full name and address listed on a directory website!!!!

It appears that I’ve been caught up in a Telco privacy leak a few years back, but I guess I’ve never googled my number before to discover this. I wonder how many people online dating do this!?!? How many of my former dud dates knew where I lived? Is this guy lurking outside my window? Creeeeeeeeeeeeeepy…..

Perhaps I should check in here regularly for safety?!!!

The Death of Damo

After the impromptu date on the Sunday night, I left Damo alone to sort out his moving issues. He had told me he had a few mates to stay with either in the city or the other side of town, but he definitely wasn’t going to stay with his folks who lived in the same suburb as he was moving from.

The day after he was moving I sent him a txt asking how the move went and where he moved to. He said he ended up staying with a friend locally. He hadn’t mentioned that option before and I was suspicious that he did actually end up moving back to his parents place. I was also suspicious he had some money problems. When he told me he was renting, he mentioned something about someone ripping him off once and that has affected him buying a place. He had a very expensive car though, so if he had been bankrupt or something, I couldn’t work out how he could get finance for that but not a house. He also didn’t seem to have many properties for sale. He would have 1 or 2 listings, but all the other agents at his company had 5 or 6. Maybe he was doing it tough?

We exchanged a few txts over the next few days but didn’t manage to line up the third date over the weekend as we were both pretty busy. We then planned to catch up after work on the Thursday night, so it was already about a week and a half after our last date that we were going to see each other.

I was meant to be planning this date and because we hadn’t messaged for two days, I sent a message on Thursday morning asking if we were still on for tonight and told him where I was thinking. He didn’t reply until 2pm and said he had late meetings come up and asked if we could postpone for another night and he suggested the following Tuesday.

Things were turning bad. Still no weekend dating, he left me hanging until the afternoon to pull the pin on the date and when I responded something along the lines of ‘no worries, Tuesday it is’, he didn’t even reply. It seemed like a positive sign that he had suggested another night rather than just cancelling, but I decided that I wasn’t going to pursue him anymore. If he was interested he would make the effort.

And he didn’t. I didn’t hear from him all weekend and by Tuesday which was our supposed next date, I hadn’t heard from him at all. I left it all day and as the day progressed it seemed obvious that we weren’t going out that night. By late afternoon I had the shits. He had seemed like such a nice genuine guy, how did I get him so wrong? I sent him a message saying ‘so….just checking, have you died?’.

No response. Ever. I still had him on my Tinder chat list and I checked his profile a few times in the days after before I deleted him and he hadn’t been active on there for weeks. So maybe he did die? It seemed the only logical explanation. Surely if he had just lost interest in me, found someone else, or had moved home and was feeling like a pathetic loser, he would have had the balls to just send a txt saying he wasn’t feeing it between us and he wanted to leave it there.

Seriously, why are guys such soft cocks when it comes to that? It really isn’t that hard to send someone a txt and you get out of it easily. Since we live one suburb apart, we are highly likely to bump into each other again at some point. Even more reason to not act like a douche.

Sigh….