I saw an article in my Facebook feed this week that caught my eye. It was about a dating philosophy adapted from entrepreneur Derek Sivers who once wrote a blog post where he said, “If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no”.
He was using the philosophy in a business sense, but the writer of the article, Mark Manson, believes this should apply to relationships too. He writes:
“The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.”
This got my thinking about my recent run of mediocre dates. None of them I felt particularly excited about going on the date with. None of them I had an exciting date with. None of them I was excited to pursue a second date with.
Two of them I thought I would go on a second date with if they asked just to see if things got better on date 2, but I was really feeling quite ‘meh’ about them.
I exchanged a few txts with those two after those dates but I was not excited to see their name flash up on my phone. I also didn’t feel like I wanted to commit to a second date with much notice….probably in case I got a better offer!
I want a man that excites me, but there have been so very few that have done so in my last few years of dating. I think there is also something to just getting out there and meeting people. As my original psychic says ‘you won’t find a man sitting at home watching Masterchef’. Wise words….
I’ve had a lot of friends say to me that excitement can build with someone. I can’t say that has ever really happened to me though. I’ve only ever felt chemistry with someone when it was there from date 1.
So maybe the law of Fuck Yes or No does have some merit?
Now, some updates on the men of my recent roll…
I have let the wine wanker drift off into the sunset. I think he was too much of a fixer upper. Any man that is that clueless on dating at 36 probably needs a lot of help elsewhere too!
The one that wasn’t refined enough was a boring txter and that fizzled out.
The guy I met in the park has repeatedly txted using ‘u’ rather than ‘you’ and ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’. Using shortcuts like ‘u’ was only acceptable in the Nokia days of numerical keypads when you had to press the 8 key (or whatever it was) 86 times to get to the right letter…
The car dealer guy is also a fizzer. We had some tense last minute negotiations the day I picked up my car, which I thought may have deterred him but he is still txting me a lot. But I’m not so keen now. I hadn’t noticed he was a smoker on that first day I went test driving with him, but he was smoking on the day I got my car. He also had a kids drawing on the wall behind his desk this time around so I assume he has a kid. Pass.
But in other news, the red candle will burn out tonight I think. So my unicorn is imminent right? Right?!?!