Early March I went to a psychic event with some girlfriends. It was total rubbish, but I did get something out of it which was a referral to a new psychic.
A woman on our table at the event sounded a bit batty, but she told us about a psychic she had been seeing for years that sounded very much like the one I have been seeing for a few years now – but much cheaper!
When I got back from my holiday I decided to give her a call and book in. She sounds quite old and sweet, so she must be legit right?! I head over to her house and find that she lives in a nice place on the water. Hmmm this psychic gig must pay alright….
I’m a little early and whilst waiting in the car down the road from her house, l all of a sudden get more nervous about this than a Tinder date. So I message Ms E for a security check like I do on first dates so someone at least has my last known whereabouts if I go missing.
When I knock at the door I’m greeted by quite a frail looking elderly lady. I’m pretty sure I could take her if she tries to bash me and steal all my money!
She invites me in and asks me to take a seat at her dining table and offers me a coffee. We sit down and chit chat about her house and the weather before getting down to business. She gives me a deck of well worn tarot cards and asks me to shuffle them and cut the deck into 3 piles.
For the next 30 minutes we repeat the cycle of shuffle, cut and reading about 6 times with her telling me what is in store for me.
Now, the rational and logical side of me always likes to evaluate these readings as a cynic. The curious and creative side of me thinks there has been enough revealed by some of these psychics in the past that could not possibly be guessed, so maybe there is something to all of this.
Further conflict arose between the rational and curious side when the reading from the new psychic was very, very similar to the reading by my other psychic. So they are either both working to the same psychic fraudster playbook, or I got a second opinion from a qualified source of truth ;p
There are some basics that I think could certainly be guesses by these psychics. For example, each of them start the reading saying that they think I’ve already met my future husband, if not he is imminent.
Rational SSIS thinks this is something a psychic could guess with reasonable confidence that a woman that looks like she is in her 30’s without a ring on her ringer probably wants to hear this right?
Both say that this man is my soulmate and we will marry soon and be together forever. Well, it feels unlikely that they would want to say ‘you will meet your husband and he will be ok for a couple of years, but then bang your best friend’….
Both also say that I’ll have two kids (how unusual) in the next few years and that they will be very close in age. Hmmm well based on biology of a woman in her 30’s that is probably a safe bet!
Both have said that I will always have money, I’ll do ok. So I can keep coming and paying a psychic right?!
Both say that my future husband is in finance or real estate or something involving lots of contracts. Oh and he is tall and attractive. Well that’s surprising that a tall women would end up with a tall man isn’t it….
Both said I’d be taking a holiday with a group of people in the next year, including my future husband. Both mentioned Japan, but that seems to be the holiday destination of choice of late as a number of friends and dates have said they are going there early next year.
Hmmm I think I’ve convinced myself that rational SSIS should win out on this debate now!
But new psychic also told me that I had recently been through a period of stress and that I am about to embark on a period of change. Hmmm people who go to a psychic aren’t usually hoping for change are they?!? No…..
She also told me that I’m my Father’s favourite. Of course. Sorry bro. Also that my brother will get a speeding fine soon. Crap, I forgot to warn him about that!
New psychic also told me that I need to get a red candle and burn it completely and when it’s done, that is when my future husband will be on the scene. Now I love the colour red and have had many a red candle burning in my living room, but when it gets towards the end, there is too much wax and the flame burns low so I just throw it out and start a new candle.
CLEARLY I have been sabotaging my efforts to find a man. If only I knew that my candle burning habits were hindering the search!
Curious & creative SSIS has completely embraced this advice.
Burn red candle. Burn, baby, burn!