I know that I’ve been quiet lately, but a lot has been happening! Here is a recap of the past month or so in the world according to me…
I turned 34
My birthday was early March and I am somehow now 34! It does feel like just the other day that I was 30 and buying myself a new car to celebrate. It was the first quite nice car that I had bought and I remember looking at a few different options, like a 2 door, 2 seater sporty little number, but I had in my head that I would have that car for 5 years and thought at the time, who knows what could happen in five years time. Surely my unicorn would have made his appearance by then, maybe I’d even have had a baby by the time I was 35. So I ended up with a reasonably sensible BMW just in case and well the unicorn hasn’t showed up, but I’m definitely at the point of getting a new car and it is definitely going to be something sexy, sporty and totally impractical!
I’ve also got a referral to go see an IVF doctor about freezing some eggs so that me and Katy Perry can have our baby together in 5 years!
The ‘Break Up’
Mid-February I mentioned the ‘former flame’ that I had dated about 2 years prior and it was a case of bad timing, but we had remained quite close. Well maybe not that close. Our very first date had been 3 or 4 days prior to my birthday and we had discussed my birthday on that date, so although we hadn’t know each other long by the time it rolled around, I assumed the recency of this information would help him to remember. But on the day, he sent me a number of txt messages asking how my day was, but in a generic way, not that it was my birthday. Ok, fine. Whatever.
The following year he had already moved away, but we were pretty much in daily contact. Again, he sent me messages that day, no acknowledgment of my birthday. Ok, not so fine. Quite annoyed.
This year, we discussed when we caught up in February what date my birthday was. I felt quite confident he would remember this year. He was the first message to pop up on my phone the morning of my birthday, but again the content was completely unrelated to any birthday wishes. Ok, not fine at all. Pissed off.
I felt that it was not unreasonable to expect that a man I’ve had some form of ongoing relationship with for 2 years which included 3 birthdays, would actually remember my birthday. So I told him as such and he got pissed off at me. In my opinion there is no valid response to someone calling you out on forgetting their birthday besides sorry. Sure I would have been disappointed about it, but I would have got over it with an apology.
But it was not forthcoming and I although it took three occurrences of this, I have a low tolerance for bullshit behaviour and that was it for me. We haven’t spoken since.
What we had going on was obviously not stopping me (or him, I presume…) from dating other people and I always assumed our relationship would end on good terms when one of us found a new committed relationship. I enjoyed his company, albeit at a distance, so I felt a little sad about it ending, but it had to happen some time I guess!
My life is back
Two weeks ago I did the final exams of my MBA, so I have now finished uni forever! No more study, no more group work, no more weekend classes and staying up to 2am finishing assignments.
And it feels good!!!!
I went on holiday – alone
I finished my exams on a Tuesday afternoon and by Wednesday afternoon I was on a plane to Hawaii. I knew I’d need some R&R after all that study and was giving myself a carrot to get me through the final (and toughest) term of uni. I had never holidayed alone before this, but because I decided to go at short notice and I knew I wanted some time out to de-stress from uni, and because I have lived alone for 6 years I thought it would be just like that, but more even more awesome.
And it was!!!!
I had the most amazing time. I stayed at resorts, I hired convertibles to cruise around in, I ate ridiculously bad but good American food and took myself on some crazy adventures like snorkelling with manta rays at night, took a ‘doors off’ helicopter ride around the volcanoes, did a shark cage dive and I shot some guns in Waikiki. I had so much fun and never did I feel weird about holidaying alone.
But of course, I wasn’t completely alone. It turns out that the only thing you need to attract an American man is your sexy Aussie accent! They loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it! Oh and Tinder. Tinder also helps ;p
But I was pleasantly surprised by the American men that I encountered. They were perfect gentlemen and really lovely guys. They certainly added to the holiday experience.
Being on holiday I wasn’t as focused as I usually am on my list, which led to the realisation that I can really enjoy the company of a wide variety of men. When I was studying I had a very finite amount of spare time, so I didn’t want to waste any on unsuitable men. Now, don’t get excited. I am not relaxing my criteria for my future husband as I know that list needs to be in place for me to be satisfied in a long term relationship BUT I now have a lot of newfound time on my hands that has been spent studying for the past 2 years and I intend to make the most of that time, meet new people, go do fun things. I love male company, it’s such a different dynamic to hanging out with my girlfriends, so I’ve loosened the reigns. I’m back on Tinder and I’m talking to quite a few guys, some left field choices for me and I’ll see what happens. I of course will keep you posted…..
The Right of Rebuttal
Just before I went away whilst I was finishing my exams, one of the guys that I dated through the Executive Match Maker found my blog and was quite displeased about his review. Fair call, I understand. I was happy for him to say his piece and respond with his opinion on the blog. It seemed only fair.
Being busy with my exams, I didn’t reply for a few days and whilst I was away he posted another comment on the blog pretending to be someone else I had dated who also thought I was a disgusting human being. Of course, WordPress is pretty clever with these things and it was obvious it was the same person as the IP addresses were the same, so I called him out on it. This aggravated him more and he spurted a heap of abuse at me about me having an ‘Oprah Winfrey’ ass. Ok, you are entitled to your opinion. As am I.
He commented with his real name which I always intentionally omit from all my posts about my dates as I am not a raging bitch. I believe my readers can see the spirit of how I write this blog is to share the trials and tribulations of dating in a light hearted and hopefully entertaining way, without slandering those involved.
This individual was clearly hurt by his post and continued to post derogatory comments on the blog. I have removed them and I unpublished the post about him and our date to stop the back and forth interrupting my holiday.
Yes, that post contained MY reflection and opinion on the date. But the facts are that his profile that was given to me by the Executive Matchmaker agency Blue Label Life stated his occupation as ‘Company Director’ and on our date he told me he was actually a petrol tank driver. The agency admitted this was not in alignment with what they promote, which is an agency for ‘professional and successful singles’ and they agreed to wipe that date from the number that I was entitled to as part of my package. Fact.
This is a large factor as to why I was so unhappy with the agency as they were aware of this as other women had expressed that they were unhappy about this too, yet they continued to present him as a Company Director. Fact.
Regardless of anything else I previously written which was my opinion of the date, as I do with all of my dates, this is the reason it didn’t go well between us. Deception does not have a place in establishing relationships with people. Ever. Fact.
I’ll leave you with a pic from my last night in Hawaii. Aloha!