Instant Dismissal

Online dating has been particularly tedious in the past week. Lots of looking, but at nothing interesting. There has just been a constant stream of undesirable profile characteristics that lead to instant dismissal. Such as:

Guys over 45

Guys under 30 (especially the 15 yr old Tinder gave me tonight – will I get arrested for that??)

Holden shirt wearers

Ford shirt wearers

Actually any motor shirts, alcohol shirts, football shirts…..

Guys that appear in all 6 pics wearing G-Star RAW shirts (are you being sponsored??)

Bathroom mirror shots (especially with the toilet lid up, yes lid, not just seat, animals!)

Pics of guys smoking and thinking that they look dead sexy doing it (thank you for revealing your filthy habit upfront)

Pics eating a mandarin (thank you for revealing your filthy hab…ok this has never happened, but I am petitioning for one’s stance on this to be part of the standard questionnaire on dating sites)

Earring wearers (hey you over there, the East 17 look-a-like, alllllright, allllright, everythinks gunna be alllright)

Double denim

Cat owners

Bird owners

Small human owners

Lazy eyes (look at moi Kimmy, look at moi….)

Missing tooth

Silver tooth

Black tooth

Only one tooth

Gold chains

Wife beater singlets

DJ pic (scratch, scratch, I’ve got an iPhone playlist and I’m rocking it in da house tonight for shiz!)

Gym mirror pic

Urinal mirror pic (especially you Todd Carney)

Lives in a dodge sounding suburb. Eg Raby, Airds, Shalvy, Mount Druitt, Rooty Hill (it’s not as fun as it may sound….)

No car

No licence

No job

No personality

No idea how to wear shorts…..what is a male camel toe called?!?!



One comment

  1. Queen of the fries · July 15, 2014

    Hehehe this post made me laugh out loud! Male camel toe.. hilarious!! 😀


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s