Am I being Catfished?

After last weekend where the guy formerly known as the lovely English gent who turned into an asshole (unless he was hit and killed by a bus and that is why I haven’t heard from him, if so, my condolences to his family) I decided to give Tinder a rest…

But before I did, I thought I’d give it a few last swipes. I then found an interesting profile with just one pic which was a photo of a plane. I’m not sure why I clicked into it, but his profile said something about being easy going, fun, loves a laugh and quotes himself as ‘reasonably good looking’. Now I really want to see his photo if he is talking himself up like that!

But I swiped right for yes and we matched. I sent him a message immediately saying that I found his profile intriguing that he would be Tindering with no pic. He replied and said that there was nothing suspicious about it, he just has a lot of clients and didn’t want work people to see him on there. We started chatting and he was actually quite interesting.  We chatted for about 2 hours, then the following night there was more great chatting, and then again the next night. By then it was Thursday and I suggested that we catch up on the weekend. We exchanged numbers and I said to him that it would make it easier for me to find him when we meet up if I have some idea what he looked like. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge, send me your photo please!

I was surprised at myself that I would want to meet someone I hadn’t seen a pic of. It’s the ultimate blind date – which is so unusual for online dating! But what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working, so why not I guess?!?

Friday passes and I don’t hear from him. Most of Saturday passes and I haven’t heard from him either. I send him a txt msg Saturday afternoon to ask what time we are going to catch up on Sunday. No response.

When I woke up this morning I was thinking of just deleting him off Tinder and moving on. He hadn’t been active on Tinder the past few days so I thought I’d wait until I could tell he was alive (seeing all my dates keep dying lately….). I was just heading out to lunch with a friend when I get a Tinder message from him saying that he is sorry he hasn’t messaged me, but he got stuck up the north coast due to bad weather, he also lost his phone and was messaging me on his iPad and he has come down with the flu today and asked if we could raincheck our date for tonight.

Wow. I always complain about the guys that die that they don’t have the balls to send a simple txt and prefer to just ignore me. This guy has coughed up 3 excuses whilst cancelling a date. But, I can’t help but feel that it is terribly bad luck to have all that happen at once.

Could it be true? I’ve still not seen this guy’s pic. I have not spoken to him on the phone either. Could he be a 18 yr old girl that has been bullied her entire life and is deciding to fuck with people just for the fun of it? Note, on Friday night I saw the show Catfish where this 21 yr girl had been chatting to a model she met online and they were txting that they love each other and want to marry for 8 months despite the fact they had never met or spoken. The show gets them together and the model guy turns out to be an 18 yr old very unfortunate looking bisexual girl. Great show!

Could ‘he’ like talking to me, but can’t meet up or it would reveal his secret so that’s why the 3 lies? Could ‘he’ be Casey Donovan catfishing me to get revenge for all the shit she has copped after she revealed her 6 yr relationship with a man, who was a girl, who she was having sex with cause her man who she never met wanted her to? Yes, it’s complicated. For my non-Aussie readers check this out to get up to speed

So I eventually replied tonight saying that it was an unusual amount of misfortune he has endured this weekend and that a cynical person who has met a lot of Tinder dickheads may not believe it. He replied saying that it was all true and all he can do is hope I believe it and that he’d like to keep talking to me.

I’m unconvinced. Thoughts?


I give up!!!

Over the past two months or so, I have dated quite a lot of guys. Mostly only once. Sometimes we got to a second date. But mostly it ended as quickly as it begun.

I have had no success with Tinder. Damo the douche and the one with the Little Sausage both came from Tinder. The other guys I’ve met from there turned out to be assholes too.

I’ve pretty much maxed out RSVP. When I log in, most of the guys on there I’ve already had contact with, or they are particularly hideous and will be on the shelf for a long time.

I invested in dating through the Executive Matchmaker and A Table for Six under the misguided impression that paying more would lead to meeting a higher quality candidate, a man with his shit together, who is serious about a relationship. But no, it’s been a complete waste of money.

I thought when I went back to uni to do my MBA that I might meet a smart and ambitious man who would be well suited to me. I’ve met lots of them actually, but they all have wives already.

I’ve asked all my friends if they have any friends they can set me up with, but no one knows anyone new to introduce me to.

I’m definitely not the type to date where I work, but having said that there is no one that I would be interested in there anyway.

So what’s a girl to do?? A few of my friends have suggested I take a step back from my focused dating efforts and hope that the old adage that you find someone when you’re not looking rings true. I’m not sure I can trick fate like that, and prior to about 18 months ago, I actually wasn’t doing too much to find a man and the only thing that happened was that I ate a lot of pizza whilst drinking wine alone on my couch at home.

If I don’t do anything I feel Im destined to have 18 cats by the end of the year. But I’m really bored with this relentless routine of dating dickheads, so I’m thinking I should give it up for a while.


The one with the Little Sausage

It’s a long weekend in Sydney this weekend and I headed into it quite excited about it being a great weekend. I had a dinner planned with friends Saturday night and Date 2 planned with the last date of Dating Palooza weekend, the English guy.

I didn’t give a lot of detail about this guy in the first post. We met on Tinder, chatted a bit about his work as a Business Development Manager at a hotel chain and although we work in different industries, realised that we had quite similar professional backgrounds. He offered up his phone number and the following night we moved to txting. That went well and so we planned to catch up on the Sunday night (as I already had dates almost every other part of the weekend hehe) and on the Thursday night before that I asked him if he was free to chat on the phone as it will make the date less awkward.

When we spoke we debated if Sunday night will be a date or not. He said he would call it a meeting and he seemed uncomfortable with calling it a date.  It turned out when we did meet that this was because he was new to online dating and hadn’t actually met someone in person before. For me, I’ve now been on so many online ‘dates’ that the word barely even resembles something exciting or romantic, so perhaps I should start calling them meetings or appointments as well!

We kept chatting and we were talking about going for drives and I asked him if he was into cars. He said kinda and got all excited telling me that he had bought his first brand new car last year. I’m quite into cars, not for the mechanics, but certainly the aesthetics and the cool stuff in them. I ask him what he’s got and he tells me it is a Kia Rio. Oh dear….

I had nothing really to say about that and truth be told, I place a Kia pretty much on the bottom of the list of cars I would ever own. It also sounded like quite a girly car to me! He then asks what I have and the thought crosses my mind that perhaps I should lie as he sound so proud of his Kia, but I go ahead and tell him I drive a BMW. He takes it well and asked lots of questions about it and the conversation continues along with lots of joking around and it made me really excited about the date.

The date was great and we exchanged a few txts in the days after and the tone was still really flirty and like things were progressing well. Things were a bit quieter by Thursday and we still hadn’t organised our next date. So I take the bull by the horns and call him Thursday night, but I get his voicemail. I leave a message saying I was just calling to chat and to see if we could line up a catch up over the weekend.

I’m getting ready to go to bed late that night and he hasn’t called back or messaged me and I’m started to get a little worried he isn’t interested. But then he txts me apologising for missing my call and says he’d love to catch up on the weekend and suggests Sunday night. We message a bit after this and he asks me to decide on the location this time as he did it last time.

We message a few times on Friday. All pleasant stuff. Saturday afternoon I txt him my idea for Sunday night which included meeting at a bar that has great cocktails, followed by dinner at a sexy tapas place.

He has read receipts on his phone and I notice that he hasn’t even read my txt by the time I go to bed that night. Nor when I get up on Sunday morning. By 1pm I’m wondering if we are still on for that night and I’m yet to make reservations at the tapas place, so I’m keen to find out. I txt him and ask what’s going on as he hadn’t responded to my txt and ask if we are catching up tonight or not. I check it an hour later and he appears to have read it but doesn’t reply. I am increasingly getting the shits. This guy came across so nice and genuine, even sweet, so why is he being a cock?

I’m getting more annoyed and by 4pm I’ve resolved that we are not going out, but I don’t want him getting away with being an ass. So I decide to call him! I of course get his voicemail and I leave a message saying that I was just ringing to see what happened as we supposedly had plans tonight. I also say that is seems like pretty poor form unless he has been hit by a bus.

I settle in for the night to start watching Orange is the New Black with some red wine. At least that was worthwhile use of the night as it’s an awesome show. I got 7 eps into the first series!

But what the hell happened to this guy? If he had met someone else, or just lost interest in me, surely he could have just responded to my txt about the plans for Sunday with him saying actually, no I’m not keen anymore, let’s not catch up. That would have been fine. Sure, it would have been a bit shit as I enjoyed our first date, but it’s the right thing to do. You can’t just go AWOL when you have made plans with someone.

I check Tinder before going to bed and notice he hasn’t been online for a while. I’m tempted to delete him, but I leave him there for now. When I wake up in the morning I see he has been on Tinder overnight. So I guess his fingers are in fine working order so that’s not a reason for his lack of response.

I block him and do what all ladies need to do when guys do shitful things, I txt my gfs to tell them the situation. They respond with the lovely things friends say like it’s his loss, what a loser etc etc. But one of my friends says to me ‘It’s probably for the best. He probably only had a tiny sausage anyways’. It gave us all a good giggle, but it did get me thinking…

Firstly, he drives a Kia Rio. Come on. Secondly, he has no balls if he was too afraid to send me a txt. Thirdly, on our first (and only) date, after some serious pashing, we got up to leave and kissed a bit more passionately whist waiting for cabs. We were standing up leaning against a fence and I was pressed up against him. And I didn’t notice anything. Not a thing.

I think my friend was right ;p


Feedback noted – then ignored

The Monday after my disastrous first dinner with A Table for Six, the organiser sends me an email asking for feedback on the restaurant and dining experience, plus asks if there is anyone that I wish to exchange contact details with.

Even if I wasn’t asked for feedback about the dinner, I was ready to give it! I think I paid $450 or $500 for a 12 month membership with these guys, then each dinner you go to you pay a $33 or $38 booking fee for the privilege of them organising the dinner and then you pay for what you eat at the restaurant.

I found it really difficult to get into a suitable dinner and feedback from the group suggested that the other women had the same problem, perhaps not so much the men. After such a bad first dinner, I was thinking I might give up on this idea, but I think I should give it another try to at least make the membership more worthwhile!

So I emailed the organiser and told her that I thought the restaurant was a complete dive and that my advice would be to not organise any other dinners there. She responded saying they had had many great dinners there, even she had dined there, but she will take it on board.

Then I told her about the arrogant guys vile behaviour. She told me that she would deal with it.

I said I would like to exchange contact details with one of the other women and the organiser took this as a great success. Sure, it’s great to meet new people and I could even become friends with this woman, but it’s not really the point for me signing up to this is it!

I also expressed that I was really disappointed with this as my first experience with the ‘agency’. She completely ignored this point.

Now I don’t always agree with the ‘customer is always right’ concept as sometimes people are just assholes. But, these dating agency people really take the opinion of ‘customer doesn’t matter’. I guess this is because they would get no repeat business. Once you have signed a contract, they just respond to any of your concerns with token answers similar to a disinterested husband saying ‘yes dear’ whilst watching the footy.

They just wait out the membership period until you are a problem that goes away. Or goes away and blogs about it…

Imagine if there was actually a company that offered a great service that I could write about positively!

The Death of Damo

After the impromptu date on the Sunday night, I left Damo alone to sort out his moving issues. He had told me he had a few mates to stay with either in the city or the other side of town, but he definitely wasn’t going to stay with his folks who lived in the same suburb as he was moving from.

The day after he was moving I sent him a txt asking how the move went and where he moved to. He said he ended up staying with a friend locally. He hadn’t mentioned that option before and I was suspicious that he did actually end up moving back to his parents place. I was also suspicious he had some money problems. When he told me he was renting, he mentioned something about someone ripping him off once and that has affected him buying a place. He had a very expensive car though, so if he had been bankrupt or something, I couldn’t work out how he could get finance for that but not a house. He also didn’t seem to have many properties for sale. He would have 1 or 2 listings, but all the other agents at his company had 5 or 6. Maybe he was doing it tough?

We exchanged a few txts over the next few days but didn’t manage to line up the third date over the weekend as we were both pretty busy. We then planned to catch up after work on the Thursday night, so it was already about a week and a half after our last date that we were going to see each other.

I was meant to be planning this date and because we hadn’t messaged for two days, I sent a message on Thursday morning asking if we were still on for tonight and told him where I was thinking. He didn’t reply until 2pm and said he had late meetings come up and asked if we could postpone for another night and he suggested the following Tuesday.

Things were turning bad. Still no weekend dating, he left me hanging until the afternoon to pull the pin on the date and when I responded something along the lines of ‘no worries, Tuesday it is’, he didn’t even reply. It seemed like a positive sign that he had suggested another night rather than just cancelling, but I decided that I wasn’t going to pursue him anymore. If he was interested he would make the effort.

And he didn’t. I didn’t hear from him all weekend and by Tuesday which was our supposed next date, I hadn’t heard from him at all. I left it all day and as the day progressed it seemed obvious that we weren’t going out that night. By late afternoon I had the shits. He had seemed like such a nice genuine guy, how did I get him so wrong? I sent him a message saying ‘so….just checking, have you died?’.

No response. Ever. I still had him on my Tinder chat list and I checked his profile a few times in the days after before I deleted him and he hadn’t been active on there for weeks. So maybe he did die? It seemed the only logical explanation. Surely if he had just lost interest in me, found someone else, or had moved home and was feeling like a pathetic loser, he would have had the balls to just send a txt saying he wasn’t feeing it between us and he wanted to leave it there.

Seriously, why are guys such soft cocks when it comes to that? It really isn’t that hard to send someone a txt and you get out of it easily. Since we live one suburb apart, we are highly likely to bump into each other again at some point. Even more reason to not act like a douche.


Impromptu Date 2 with Damo

The first date with Damo happened on a Wednesday. We were exchanging txts in the days after that, but I was at uni Fri-Sun and he had a friend here (apparently a male mate) from overseas who he was busy catching up with. 

I was keen to see him again and by Sunday morning I decided to give in on waiting for him to make the next move and just ask him if he wanted to catch up for a casual dinner that night. I knew he had been drinking for a few days straight, so probably wouldn’t be into doing much, so I thought a casual dinner would suit.

He replied saying that he would like to, but probably shouldn’t as he needed to pack. Hmmm pack for what? He hadn’t told me he was going on a trip and you would imagine someone would if they were going on a trip that was long enough to require packing.

But no, it was because he was moving house. Now considering that he lives in the next suburb and we have talked quite a bit about the area and houses and stuff, I would have thought he would mention that too! I then ask when he is moving. He tells me on Wednesday. Again, I doubt it was a last minute decision, so why hasn’t he mentioned this? I ask where he is going to live and he tells me that he doesn’t have anywhere to go at the moment as he hasn’t found another apartment to rent that he likes, so he is going to go stay with some friends until something good comes up in the area.

So I tell him that packing sounds quite important considering he hasn’t started and it’s three days away and leave him to it.

I get home from uni about 5:30pm, pour a glass of wine and get into the bath. At 5:45pm I get a txt msg from him asking if I wanted to grab a quick bite. I’m keen to see him so I jump out of the bath and get ready for him to come pick me up.

We go to a super casual italian place and get some pasta. Mine is pretty hideous, but his dish looks good. We get talking about gelato and he asks if I have been to Messina. I haven’t and he says that we should go there now. I say ok, so we jump back into the car and head off to get gelato. We go, it’s packed and there are no tables free, so we take our gelato back to his car to eat. I’m somewhat surprised at this as he has told me that he doesn’t let people eat in his car, so I’m very careful as gelato can be quite dribbly!

We drive back to my place and he pulls over out the front of my apartment building and we start our goodbyes. Which of course turns into some kissing, so he turns the car off saying ‘let’s commit to this huh’. We pash for a while in the car in pretty much the same spot that we were kissing in the street on our first date. I think I see my neighbour walk past again. He must think I do this every night….

I have no intention of asking him in that night and he seems quite respectful and isn’t really trying it on. So I head inside quite happy with the impromptu date and I’m looking forward to lining up Date 3. 

I Want My Money Back!

Last week I decided that I had had enough of dealing with the Blue Label Life matchmaking agency and I requested a refund. Basically all of my interactions with my matchmaker now consist of her suggesting a guy for me, me being underwhelmed by their profile but having no real reason to decline them, so I tell her I’m interested in meeting him and then I wait, and wait, and wait.

Sometimes I chase her for an update, sometimes she will proactively offer me one. Early April she sent me the profile of a surgeon. Now remember I had a very bumpy start with Blue Label Life where the first match I had was a government worker who essentially was a customer service person answering phones, perhaps you could classify his role as clerical at best. The second match was the petrol tank driver who told me that he was a problem for the agency as all the women expect him to be an executive or a professional and call the agency to complain after they have been matched with him or go on a date with him. So I was relieved to get someone who meets their own self-proclaimed standards.

After two weeks, the surgeon had not replied to my matchmaker to say whether he was interested in me or not. My matchmaker said that she suspected he was ‘busy with surgeries’. So she found me someone else in the meantime whilst he was busy saving lives.

Next was an entrepreneur. Now, that could just mean he had an ABN or an eBay account, but I told my matchmaker yes I was interested in meeting him. Two weeks pass and nothing. I ask my matchmaker what happened with the entrepreneur. Perhaps he died? She said that she has made contact with him and that he has been interstate on business. Apparently they do not have internet in any state of Australia besides Sydney, so he couldn’t check his email to read my profile and say if he was interested or not.

This is a relentless story. Last week I decided I was sick of waiting, this process has never saved me time (which is a key selling point of their service according to their website) and I decided to request a refund for the 3 matches I am owed. I originally signed up in August and the process is supposed to be 6 matches in 6 months. I have had 4 matches, but we had agreed to remove the petrol tank driver from the match tally so it sits at 3 after 9 months. I’m still getting nowhere and I honestly believe that they just don’t have many male members. I’ve seen a couple of other comments online claiming the same problem.

I have a long drawn out conversation where my matchmaker says she can’t give me my money back and that it’s not her fault if guys keep saying no to me. This is the first she has brought this up and convenient timing. I absolutely understand that she can’t make guys like me and that I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I was repeatedly told when I joined that they had plenty of guys on the books and many highly compatible matches based on the survey I did online before the first meeting. Otherwise, I feel that if she didn’t think she could find me dates, or thought I was an undesirable candidate, surely they shouldn’t take me on??

I am offered another ‘relationship counselling’ session with their CEO who I met in January and she just tried to convince me to let go of all my preferences so I have a chance of finding love. I’ve mentioned the top 5 criteria I gave my matchmaker on my initial meeting, nothing too outrageous really. Plus, this agency promotes themselves as a discerning agency where you can get the type of person you want. Many others don’t! I suspect that this counselling about dropping your preferences may work on the meek minded who now realise they have done their dough on the membership fee so relent.

I was also told I could put my membership on hold, or transfer it to someone else. Geeze, not sure I know someone that I dislike enough to pass on this pain! We end the conversation with me being entirely unsatisfied and apparently the surgeon has conveniently responded to her since I lodged my request for a refund and he will be available to meet in two weeks. I’m told he has been overseas and that is why he hasn’t responded for 2 months (no internet in America either it seems).

Later that day my matchmaker sends me the profile of a new guy. He is shorter than me. Arrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!!

I have posted a review on True Local about my experience and my request for a refund. Note that the business name on their page has been changed to something completely unrelated to BLL. That happened after negative reviews started appearing. I guess it is just a coincidence…

The True Local page comes up as soon as you google Blue Label Life now. I wish I could find reviews like this before I signed up. Before I met with them I googled them extensively with terms like ‘Blue Label Life Dating Agency’, ‘Blue Label Life Reviews’, ‘Blue Label Life Sydney’, Blue Label Life Executive Matchmaker’, ‘Blue Label Life Complaints’, ‘Blue Label Life Scam’ etc and got almost nothing! There is now a lot more online and unfortunately some have had a very similar experience to myself.

The one I referred to by his real name – Damian

Generally when I talk with my girlfiriends about the men that I am dating, I refer to them as their ‘character’ name, i.e. the Detective, the Porsche Dude, the Canberra Guy, 6’6″ Dad etc.

I feel that it makes it easier for them to remember who is who during my prolific dating bursts, but it could also be a sign of me not committing to calling them a name until I think they could be more than a character in my dodgy dating play.

This happened a month or so ago with a guy called Damian – but let’s call him Damo for short. I met him on Tinder one night and the app showed him to be just 2kms away. It turned out that he lived in the next suburb and because he worked in real estate, we got chatting about the local area and houses and we discussed when I moved to the area, where I’d moved from etc.

The chat went really well and he asked if I’d like to catch up for coffee some time. He gave me his number and I said I’d give him a call to line something up. He sounded great and I was really looking forward to speaking with him, so I called him the next afternoon on the drive to uni. When we spoke we exchanged the usual pleasantries and then he launched in with ‘so I have to tell you I know your name is <insert real name here> and you live at <real address> and you used to live at <old real address>’. I immediately freak out wondering how he knows this? Do we have a mutual friend? Is he stalking me? Is he a weirdo??? Turns out yes….but let’s not ruin the story just yet.

There are many things that you know not to tell people that you have just met online for safety reasons. Of those things, saying that you bought your apartment 5 years ago didn’t occur to me to be a danger topic. But as he works in real estate at a local agent, he has access to a settlement database and took the liberty to look me up. Ok, so it’s weird, but at the time I thought that it was probably ok as firstly, if I had access to a system that like, I would definitely be utilising it for background checks on my dates (#noboundaries)! Second, he told me about it straight up. He could have kept that information up his sleeve for his own purposes right?

So we arrange to meet on Wednesday night and considering he already knows almost everything about me, I agree to him coming to pick me up from home which I wouldn’t usually do on a first meet! But also, he has a bit of an online presence as a real estate agent in balmain so I feel somewhat confident that I won’t be axe murdered, but I give my girlfriend all the info I have on him just in case I go missing!

He comes to pick me up in his beautiful black BMW and I’m kinda impressed. He is standing against the car waiting for me and he is all suited up from work. He opens the door for me like a gentleman and I notice that he has a cheeky smile, both factors making him really quite attractive. We head into balmain to go to a little wine bar. When we get out of the car at the bar I notice that he is a little bit shorter than me. On my Tinder profile I mention that I am 5’10. I’d asked him before we met how tall he is and he said 5’10”. I was wearing heels, but intentionally small ones as I thought we’d be the same height, but I still suspect he was more like 5’9″ (as we know, guys always add an extra inch).

But he doesn’t seem to care that I’m taller and I put it out of my mind. We go inside and sit at a cosy booth in the corner. The bar is almost empty, but it has a nice vibe. We order red wine and get chatting. He is a complete joker, making little smart ass comments every 5 seconds. It is immediately flirty between us, we order some food and sit nice and close whilst sharing the dishes eating from the same plate as we are sitting at a tiny little table.

Eventually we go to leave and as he had decided after his second wine to leave his car at the bar so that he could drink more wine, we need to find a cab. One arrives almost instantly and we head home. When we get to my place, he jumps out of the cab with me which I didn’t take as a sign of him expecting to come inside really. He may have even said something like he just wanted to say goodbye to me properly.

So we stand out the front of my apartment building in the street which is very well lit and say goodbye with some kissing. At one point I notice my next door neighbour walk past whilst we are kissing in the street like teenagers. That is a little embarrassing….

Damo had realised in the cab that he had left his house keys back in his car, so when another cab pulls up to drop one of my neighbours home, he seizes the opportunity and grabs the cab to go get his keys.

He messages me later and it seems like all in all a great date was had and I am looking forward to seeing him again.

The last date of Dating Palooza

Sunday afternoon I was meeting up with an English gent at a bar in Surry Hills.

I got ready and it was one of those days where your hair just works out perfectly! I took this as a good sign, until I got outside and realised it was raining. At the bar, I walked in a little flustered after being rained on and looked around to see if he was there. I then see a tall gorgeous looking guy standing by the doorway…..and it is him! Now, this is a very good sign.

We met on Tinder and I usually always ask how tall a guy is before agreeing to meet, but I didn’t get around to it on this occasion. I was relieved to see he was a little taller than me and I was wearing heels. We get to the bar and order some drinks whilst making awkward chit chat.

We sit outside in the cute little beer garden with funky garden furniture. He admits to me that he was quite nervous about meeting up as I am his first online date. I am honoured! He seems to be a little self-conscious of his nervousness and it is absolutley gorgeous. 

We sit and chat and drink for a few hours and it’s really lovely. It is all going well and it seems like we are both interested in each other. Soon he takes my hand from across the table and we continue with the flirty eyes and chat until eventually he leans over and kisses me. 

The night continues with more sitting, chatting, drinking and kisses until it’s definitely time to go as it’s a school night. 

It was a great date and a great end of dating palooza weekend. I can’t wait to see this guy again 🙂