The one with the Little Sausage

It’s a long weekend in Sydney this weekend and I headed into it quite excited about it being a great weekend. I had a dinner planned with friends Saturday night and Date 2 planned with the last date of Dating Palooza weekend, the English guy.

I didn’t give a lot of detail about this guy in the first post. We met on Tinder, chatted a bit about his work as a Business Development Manager at a hotel chain and although we work in different industries, realised that we had quite similar professional backgrounds. He offered up his phone number and the following night we moved to txting. That went well and so we planned to catch up on the Sunday night (as I already had dates almost every other part of the weekend hehe) and on the Thursday night before that I asked him if he was free to chat on the phone as it will make the date less awkward.

When we spoke we debated if Sunday night will be a date or not. He said he would call it a meeting and he seemed uncomfortable with calling it a date.  It turned out when we did meet that this was because he was new to online dating and hadn’t actually met someone in person before. For me, I’ve now been on so many online ‘dates’ that the word barely even resembles something exciting or romantic, so perhaps I should start calling them meetings or appointments as well!

We kept chatting and we were talking about going for drives and I asked him if he was into cars. He said kinda and got all excited telling me that he had bought his first brand new car last year. I’m quite into cars, not for the mechanics, but certainly the aesthetics and the cool stuff in them. I ask him what he’s got and he tells me it is a Kia Rio. Oh dear….

I had nothing really to say about that and truth be told, I place a Kia pretty much on the bottom of the list of cars I would ever own. It also sounded like quite a girly car to me! He then asks what I have and the thought crosses my mind that perhaps I should lie as he sound so proud of his Kia, but I go ahead and tell him I drive a BMW. He takes it well and asked lots of questions about it and the conversation continues along with lots of joking around and it made me really excited about the date.

The date was great and we exchanged a few txts in the days after and the tone was still really flirty and like things were progressing well. Things were a bit quieter by Thursday and we still hadn’t organised our next date. So I take the bull by the horns and call him Thursday night, but I get his voicemail. I leave a message saying I was just calling to chat and to see if we could line up a catch up over the weekend.

I’m getting ready to go to bed late that night and he hasn’t called back or messaged me and I’m started to get a little worried he isn’t interested. But then he txts me apologising for missing my call and says he’d love to catch up on the weekend and suggests Sunday night. We message a bit after this and he asks me to decide on the location this time as he did it last time.

We message a few times on Friday. All pleasant stuff. Saturday afternoon I txt him my idea for Sunday night which included meeting at a bar that has great cocktails, followed by dinner at a sexy tapas place.

He has read receipts on his phone and I notice that he hasn’t even read my txt by the time I go to bed that night. Nor when I get up on Sunday morning. By 1pm I’m wondering if we are still on for that night and I’m yet to make reservations at the tapas place, so I’m keen to find out. I txt him and ask what’s going on as he hadn’t responded to my txt and ask if we are catching up tonight or not. I check it an hour later and he appears to have read it but doesn’t reply. I am increasingly getting the shits. This guy came across so nice and genuine, even sweet, so why is he being a cock?

I’m getting more annoyed and by 4pm I’ve resolved that we are not going out, but I don’t want him getting away with being an ass. So I decide to call him! I of course get his voicemail and I leave a message saying that I was just ringing to see what happened as we supposedly had plans tonight. I also say that is seems like pretty poor form unless he has been hit by a bus.

I settle in for the night to start watching Orange is the New Black with some red wine. At least that was worthwhile use of the night as it’s an awesome show. I got 7 eps into the first series!

But what the hell happened to this guy? If he had met someone else, or just lost interest in me, surely he could have just responded to my txt about the plans for Sunday with him saying actually, no I’m not keen anymore, let’s not catch up. That would have been fine. Sure, it would have been a bit shit as I enjoyed our first date, but it’s the right thing to do. You can’t just go AWOL when you have made plans with someone.

I check Tinder before going to bed and notice he hasn’t been online for a while. I’m tempted to delete him, but I leave him there for now. When I wake up in the morning I see he has been on Tinder overnight. So I guess his fingers are in fine working order so that’s not a reason for his lack of response.

I block him and do what all ladies need to do when guys do shitful things, I txt my gfs to tell them the situation. They respond with the lovely things friends say like it’s his loss, what a loser etc etc. But one of my friends says to me ‘It’s probably for the best. He probably only had a tiny sausage anyways’. It gave us all a good giggle, but it did get me thinking…

Firstly, he drives a Kia Rio. Come on. Secondly, he has no balls if he was too afraid to send me a txt. Thirdly, on our first (and only) date, after some serious pashing, we got up to leave and kissed a bit more passionately whist waiting for cabs. We were standing up leaning against a fence and I was pressed up against him. And I didn’t notice anything. Not a thing.

I think my friend was right ;p



  1. Pingback: Tinder – a Slideshow of my Past | Seriously Single in Sydney
  2. M · September 24, 2015

    This made me laugh 😛 Thanks haha

    I’ve actually dated a guy once and when leaning against him without a bra on, I thought “wow he must be very in control!”. Turns out he had the tiniest sausage. You dodged a small sausage, good for you 😛


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