The Search for Single Fishermen

I’ll admit it. I’ve become a bit obsessive about checking the traffic stats of my blog. In particular I love looking at the search engine data to see how people that read the blog found it.

Today I had a visitor that originated from a Yahoo search based on the terms ‘Single Fishermen’. I feel like my blog would have been a disappointment to that web searcher as I have no advice to give on how to find single fishermen. I’ve never considered looking for them to be honest, but it got me thinking that maybe I have been approaching my hunt for a man all wrong by only searching dating sites.

So I googled ‘single 6’5″ CEO, aged 32-45, looks like Channing Tatum, non smoker, no kids, perfect teeth and drives a hot car’.

Google must have been having an off day as all of the search results that it returned were about unicorns?!?!

ch19-300x300Picture Source: The 1st Class Lifestyle  34 Pics of Channing Tatum for his 34th Birthday (well worth a look, go on click on it, click it now, you know you want to…)

Throwing them back

Firstly, today was the biggest day of readers on my Blog yet! Thanks to all that stopped by 🙂

Over the past few days I’ve been searching through Plenty of Fish (POF) with nothing catching my eye. Well, nothing but really bad / funny / psycho photos that I’ve been screenshotting and sending to my girlfriends for a giggle.

I’m getting a lot of messages on the site, but all from fish that I want to throw back into the POF water.

Especially the guy with the username that starts with the word hung and ends in the word inch, with a number in between. He tells me that I’ve landed a ‘BIG FISH’. Oh yeh, baaaabbby!!

Although I appreciate how much effort it must take to copy and paste such a sexy sweet nothing to every profile on POF, I decide to pass.

I move on to a guy I’ve been talking to for 3 days. Everyday he asks how I am, then how my day was, followed by asking what I had for lunch. I was bored by day 2, but today I decided to see just how consistent he can be and he delivered.

I might not sleep tonight in anticipation of what the conversation may involve tomorrow!!!

My Response to Blue Label Life – The End

This is the end of my dealings with Blue Label Life. Of course, I always knew there was a risk that this idea would end up being just a waste of money. Let’s face it, you have to expect that from any dating agency based on all the negative reviews online. But I assume many people are ashamed that they got ‘done’ by these agencies and keep it to themselves. I am not that type of person!

I’m a big believer in word of mouth marketing and I recommend things to my friends all the time. So much so, that I think I should be getting commission from some companies! But it also works the other way and I now have nothing positive to say out of this whole Executive Matchmaker experience. I replied to the agency with the below….

Hi Candace,

Defamatory implies false accusation. I have been truthful in my assessment of the service that your company has provided in my True Local posts. Much of which can be verified through our communications. Even in this email you are confirming that at least 2 of your male members never replied to the match, a third that you couldn’t reach for a while, which is part of my complaint on True Local.

Your argument that you gave me 19 matches is ludicrous if you consider that to be membership activity of value.

I can only assume that you do have success with some members to have been in business for a number of years, but based on my experience you have failed to deliver the quality of service expected on this occasion. Even top restaurants serve bad meals occasionally, but they retain their strong reputation by the way they handle the odd poor performance.

Thank you for your offer to ‘entertain’ me in extending my membership, but as already stated I do not wish to continue my relationship with you as it has been full of frustration, time wasting and I do not see the quality in your service.

It is disappointing that you have taken this approach in attempting to resolve this situation and that we have now parted ways with me being an entirely dissatisfied customer.  I am currently quite active in Sydney’s dating scene and I do get asked about your company frequently. There is no need for me to make false accusations, I can only speak openly and honestly about my experience and as we have discussed at length, it is not a positive story.

Regards,

SeriouslySingleInSyd

Blue Label Life Responds to Refund Request

Today I finally got a reply from Blue Label Life in response to my complaints and refund request. They clearly had spent a lot of time trying to verify that they spent a lot of time on finding me love and that they do not owe me anything. It’s quite an interesting read in my opinion.

Below is a direct copy and paste of their email to me which details all the ‘matches’ they believe they gave me. I have added in my own comments <like this> about the quality of these matches.

You be the judge!

Dear <SeriouslySingleInSyd>,

I hope this email finds you well.

I have had a discussion with Samantha and Elizabeth regarding your membership and the defamatory posts on True Local.

I would like for you to take a look at the detailed description of the work that has been provided for your membership.

Following is a summary of your membership –

Date joined: 7th August, 2013

Membership level: Gold = 6 introductions/matches

Membership terms state that one introduction/match per month. Each member is entitled to decline two matches before they are counted as an introduction.

Your preferences according to information obtained primarily during the initial consultation but which may have been added to as your membership progressed: ‘Preferences: Ideally looking for someone 32 – 44yrs old , intelligent, foodie, prefers no kids, funny, ambitious, preferably 6ft and above, good teeth, masculine, she makes approx $xxx a year and would like someone in a similar range, has interest in cars.

There has been considerable amount of administration involved with your membership, this is charged at a $350.00 administration fee; this includes uploading your profile to our internal system and set-up of your account on our internal database.

Compatibility tests are valued at $100 per match, total value = $600. Please note we do not charge for the five (5) declines made against you.

Photo shoot – The photo-shoot itself cost $150.00 and then for an additional $50.00 we were provided with one (1) photograph of our choosing.

Coaching with Samantha: $500.

There have been 19 Matches established and sent to you as an introduction or an invitation to meet – We normally work on a one match per month basis. In the 10 months you have been a member we have sent you 19 introductions, 8 of which you have declined. As you will see below we have met our obligations pertaining to the number of matches we have provided you with.

Gold Membership = 6 matches.

Your membership activity = 19 matches.

1. 20/08/2013 Introducing Man 1 (you accepted / numbers exchanged) <Clerical worker who didn’t answer MM’s email for over a week, so she sent me Man 2 in the meantime. We eventually did meet though on 17/09/2013 as per this post>

2. 28/08/2013 Introducing Man 2 (you declined) <Man 2 was 175cm tall. I am 178cm tall. A man who is taller than me was in my top 5, which from my initial interview I believed would be the factors that they focused on. I also said I’d prefer to wait for Man 1 to respond, which I feel is a reasonable request to have just one man on the go at a time when you are attempting to find a serious relationship>

3. 23/09/2013 Introducing Man 3 (you declined) <This man I freely admit that there was nothing specific in his profile that didn’t meet the criteria I had discussed with MM, but he appeared stuffy, wrote about liking to visit museums on weekends, his favourite movies were French arty films and I really just didn’t see what we would have in common. This was also after me expressing my disappointment with my membership after Man 1 kept me waiting for weeks and then was not professional or executive>

4. 25/09/2013  Introducing Man 4 (you accepted/ he declined) <Not a match, T&Cs do not say men that reject you are a match. I also feel the expert matchmaking process is falling down if you keep getting declines as they say they only match you with people that they see as highly compatible to you and thus unlikely to decline I would assume>

5. 25/09/2013  Introducing Man 5 (you accepted/ he declined) <Not a match, note 2 matches given on the same day. Scattergun approach>

6. 27/09/2013  Introducing Man 6 (you accepted / numbers exchanged) <This is the truck driver. MM agreed to wipe him from my match tally as he clearly did not meet the standards of the agency. Read about this date here>

7. 17/10/2013 Introducing Man 7 (you declined) <This match was given immediately after a long discussion with MM about my disappointment with the service to date. She said she was committed to getting it right. Man 7 was 5’9”, I am 5’10”. Another match that didn’t meet my ‘Top 5’>

8. 21/10/2013 Introducing Man 8 (you accepted / numbers exchanged) <This is the spitter. Read about that date here>

9. 22/11/2013 Introducing Man 9 (you declined) <This was probably the most ridiculous suggestion of all the men I was matched with. Firstly he looked like he was about 50. Secondly, he had children. Thirdly, he lived in Melbourne, but came to Sydney regularly. Oh great, a booty call guy! I can get those for free on Tinder (or anywhere really). Again I had to have the conversation with MM about being disappointed with the service>

10. 18/12/2013 Introducing Man 10 (you declined) <This man was gorgeous! Sounded smart, successful, was 6’2” and sounded amazing. His profile stats indicated that he had no children, so I excitedly read on only to see him mention his ‘boy’ as one of his greatest achievements. I responded to MM asking if he had kids or not? She had to check and said yes he does, but he rarely sees him as he is interstate with his mum. Hmmm, was that actually supposed to make it better? If I was to change my mind that I was happy to date a man with children, I certainly wouldn’t want a man that isn’t being a real dad to his kids. This was the point at which I posted my first True Local review and I booked in for my ‘relationship coaching’ session with the agency’s owner & CEO Samantha, with the intention of using this session to express how unsatisfied I was with the service. I did this, but my concerns were dismissed>

11. 16/01/2013 Introducing Man 11 (you declined) <Note 3 men were given to me on the same day on this occasion. MM said she had already sent Man 13 before, but I had not received that email. I said yes to 12 and 13 for the time being. 3 was a bit much!>

12. 16/01/2013 Introducing Man 12  (you accepted/ numbers exchanged) <This is the Stockbroker. My first suitable match in terms of his qualities, but his poor dating behaviour tripped us up. Read about him here and here>

13. 16/01/2013 Introducing Man 13 (you accepted/ he declined) <I actually never heard back from MM about this guy either way. I got distracted by Man 12>

14. 19/03/2014 Introducing Man 14 (you accepted/ we could not reach him) <A man that went AWOL, obviously very committed to his membership and finding a relationship >

15. 11/04/2014 Introducing Man 15 (you accepted/ we could not get in touch with him for awhile, away and would like to meet end of June) <It was almost 2 months before they heard back from Man 15 and conveniently on the same day I asked for a refund>

16.  02/05/2014 Introducing Man 16 (you accepted/ we could not reach Man 16) <Again?!?!>

17. 19/05/2014 Introducing Man 17 (you accepted/ Man 17 declined) <Not a match>

18. 29/05/2013 Introducing Man 18 (your email was read as a decline, we can still send him your profile should you wish to proceed) <I again asked for a refund on this day and it was declined. I then was sent this guy who was shorter than me and I had no real attraction to anything in his profile, but I told MM ‘I do not feel I will be attracted to Man 18.  As you have acknowledged, he is outside of my preferences. If you are so confident that this is the way forward, let’s give it a test hey’. She took this as a decline, but it was not. Weeks later I again said I wanted a refund as I hadn’t even ever heard back about Man 18 and they can’t seem to find me a match at all. I posted about my disatisfaction again on True Local and mentioned the refund request. CEO declined my refund request. >

19. 19/06/2014 Introducing Man 19  (CEO has headhunted him, you declined) <I responded that as per the numerous conversations we had had, I have no confidence in their service and I just wish to terminate the relationship. I did not request them to headhunt for me, nor do I want this>

Having carefully considered your membership activity, we have come to the conclusion that given the term and conditions, your membership is complete and we will not be offering a refund. However, in good faith we would be happy to entertain a negotiation including coaching or a possible extension to your membership.

I am happy to discuss this and any questions you may have regarding this matter. Feel free to call at any time.

Have a lovely day.

We love to hear from you. If you would like another match, please contact a BLL team member every month! 

Kind regards,

Candace 

Blue Label Life (BLL)

Melbourne | Sydney |Canberra

Head Office: Level 11 | 84 Pitt St | Sydney | NSW, 2000

T: 02 8065 6400

E: info@bluelabellife.com.au

W: www.BlueLabelLife.com.au

Would it be wrong?

So often on Tinder the guys have a group shot as the first profile pic that you see. Generally there are 3 or 4 guys in the shot, but there is always one that takes my eye.

Intrigued I will click into the guy’s profile to check out the rest of his pics. Unfortunately 99% of the time the profile owner is not the guy that actually got my attention.

Now, would it be wrong to swipe right and like that guy in the hope he too likes me so we can chat? No. But can I cut straight to the chase and ask him if his mate is single instead???

Surely that would just be building good dating karma for the kind soul hooking his good looking friend up?!?

The Never Ending Story

I haven’t updated about my dealings with Blue Label Life and how they are attending to my complaint and request for a refund for a few weeks. Mostly because not much has happened. They have continued to string me along.

Last week we finally got to a point where over the weekend my matchmaker (MM) had said that they wanted to discuss an ‘amicable solution’ on Monday. I then had a lengthy conversation with her on Monday (during business hours) and the outcome was that nothing had changed. They were still persisting in saying they wanted to keep working with me and ‘find me love’. I reiterated that I did not wish to continue working with them as there is nothing in my experience so far over the 9 months that indicates they can deliver on what they advertise themselves to offer.

Mid-week I was sent an update that my MM was still talking to the CEO of the dating agency about a resolution, but in a meantime they were ‘headhunting’ to find a man for me, even though this is a service usually only reserved for some kind of premium member that must pay an alarming amount of cash for their service. The email included a picture of a man they had supposedly found that was perfect for me.

I responded that I did not want them headhunting for me. The only outcome I want now is to end the relationship with them with a 50% refund. Considering the matches I had, realistically I think it would be reasonable to ask for a full refund. I feel that I’m making a concession asking for only 50%!

My MM says she will come back to me the next day. That day passes, no contact. I email to follow up. We plan to chat the following day.

Late Friday I get the call that I was sure by this point after all of the backwards and forwards would be about the long awaited refund. AGAIN the conversation is that they will not give me a refund and they will only consider doing this if I remove my negative review on True Local. Firstly, I don’t think you can remove posts. True Local actually asked me to substantiate my negative comment by providing a copy of my contract to verify that I have been a genuine customer of them. I am sure they don’t do this with positive reviews and I certainly question the positive reviews are legitimate the way that they are written. Secondly, it feels quite deceptive to be hiding that they have failed to deliver on my agreement with them. If they truly believe that this is an anomoly and that their service is top notch, surely the best outcome is to resolve this matter professionally and not let it impact future business. I have actually offered to post a follow up comment on True Local that we worked together for a satisfactory outcome – if they ever come to the party.

Anyway, after another 30 minute phone call late on Friday night, again nothing was resolved. I tell my MM I no longer want to argue the point with her and I wish to speak to the CEO directly. I instead get contacted by their Customer Relations person late on Monday. She tells me that she wants to work through this with me and will be in touch on Tuesday. I reply and say I have wasted an exceptional amount of time on this (it really is a never ending story) and that I will not rehash the matter with her. I am only interested in the refund request and I had expected the situation to be resolved today, so I really hope we can close this out tomorrow.

It’s now tomorrow. I have heard nothing for them. How f’ing ridiculous!!!!!!!!!

Outcome of the Potential Catfish

I have been addicted to the Catfish show this weekend having finished Season 1 of the MTV show whilst I was feeling a little unwell. I am absolutely amazed at how stupid people can be online. It’s incredible the things that they will whole heartedly believe from someone that they have never met.

Which reminded me that I never updated you all about the guy I suspected may have been catfishing me as he had such a random disaster story about why he pulled out of our date. Remember, he had a delayed flight due to bad weather, lost his phone, then got the flu. Guess he broke a mirror recently to be that unlucky?

So when he sent me these excuses on the Sunday morning that we were meant to meet, I responded making it clear that I doubted if I should believe his story and that I wanted to see his pic. The next day he sends me an email address through Tinder to contact him on as he wasn’t getting his new phone until Wednesday. His email address gave nothing away about him and I sent him an email via my generic dating email address, hoping that now he had an email for me, he would send the pic through finally. But no. We exchanged a few boring, nothing emails and I left it at that thinking he’d have his phone on Wednesday and will txt me or something.

But I got nothing on Wednesday. On Thursday I sent him a message on Tinder asking if he was back to first world living standards again with his new phone. He then said he wasn’t getting it until Friday now. I was rapidly losing interest in this guy. His conversation was great before we planned that date, but ever since he had been a bore and with no photo and nothing to confirm he was a real person, I decided to leave it there.

After all, if men are interested they make an effort right? And he had details to contact me on Tinder, email or phone. It would be very easy for him. So I though I’d wait for him to contact me….

And he never did. I deleted him off Tinder yesterday as I could see he was online often yesterday, but had not bothered to contact me and his profile still had no photos on it.

I guess he swum on to his next potential victim!

Gone fishing!

Last week I caught up for lunch with a girlfriend (Ms A) from uni that I haven’t seen for about 3 months. I filled her in on my dating dramas of late and had a whinge about how I’m running out of options.

Ms A mentioned that her friend was using the dating site Plenty of Fish (POF) and was finding it pretty good. I had heard about POF about a month before when another gf mentioned a friend using it too. At that point, I checked it out, but it seemed so much harder than Tinder at the time as you must set up a proper profile. It’s a little bit like a mix between eHarmony where you have to do all these personality quizzes, but more like RSVP in that you get to search from men rather than eHarmony who give you an ‘allocation’ for the day of ‘perfect matches’.

So I set up a profile on the weekend and got cracking looking at the men. There was a heap of familiar faces from Tinder or RSVP (or both) but also some new blood!

I started talking to a good looking 38 yr old guy with a really masculine look which I like. You know, tall, built and hairy (in that he had a trimmed beard, not a carpet back, well to the best of my knowledge). We chatted about a lot of random things and he seemed quite clever and a bit witty.

I had stayed in on Saturday night as I was feeling a bit sick this weekend. I asked him why he was staying in on a Saturday night and he said that his friends had gone out, but he hadn’t finished work until 7pm so he didn’t go as he would be too late joining them. I asked what he did for work that had him working to that time on a Saturday. He said ‘Banking’. I already knew this as his profile lists this as his profession.

I then asked ‘Banking on a Saturday?’ and he replied that ‘Banking doesn’t stop for the weekends’. I asked what he did in banking, suspecting that he was in customer service, but hoping he was keeping the world turning with some kind of critical senior IT role or something. He replied saying ‘Mostly I work on savings accounts and term deposits’. I then bit the bullet and asked ‘Customer Service?” to which he replied ‘Sometimes’.

I know it sounds particularly shallow and heartless, but my future husband does not work in a call centre, wearing a head set, logging his toilet and lunch breaks into a call tracking system. Especially at 38.

He also told me he likes cats. Clearly there were already irreconcilable differences between us.

I’ve started talking to a couple of other guys, but nothing has really caught my eye just yet. There are a lot to sift through though, so stay tuned!

What’s in a name?

Driving home from work tonight I was thinking about how a name can become tainted forever just by knowing someone horrible by that name. It seems quite common that parents cannot bring themselves to name their child with the name of a kid they knew in school who was a little asshole.

I have noticed myself being ‘namist’ on Tinder (yes, I’m back on the horse) as I swipe though the profiles. There is something about the name Nathan for me. I’ve only ever known really rough, redneck types named Nathan.

I also can’t bring myself to swipe right for a Denis. It reminds me too much of a Penis.

Nor my Brother or Father’s name. That would just be weird…

Can’t say I can see my future husband as a Wayne, Shane or a Keith either.

I know it’s irrational to be doing this, but it got me thinking about my name. Is it associated by men to be that of a roaring bitch? Or a nagging tart? Or a hysterical whinger?

Perhaps my parents are to blame for my current dating plight?!

That’s it. First thing in the morning I’m changing my name to Miranda Kerr.