The (Neurotic) Script Writer

Anxious, nervous man biting his fingernails, craving something

My first date with the script writer ended about 7:30pm and I was home by 8pm. I was actually surprised when I went to bed that I hadn’t heard from him as up until our date he had been a relentless txter.

I was just drifting off to sleep when he txts, ‘how are you?’ at about midnight. A little strange. Then he says ‘I sooooo thought that you were not interested in me’. I reply and say ‘why is that?’ but he didn’t reply again that night.

Or the next day. I knew he was with his daughter on Saturday so I didn’t bother contacting him. But that evening I was heading out for dinner and drinks with some girlfriends and I had had some champagne whilst getting ready, and we all know that sometimes you can drink yourself hot! So I took a couple of selfies and one I thought was quite cute. So I sent it to all the men I’m currently txting with (about 4 eek!) and waited.

Strangely he had been sending me a message at the same time…..which was essentially the ‘break up’ txt! He said that he felt we didn’t click in person, we are better in txt and that he felt I was auditioning him and judging him. Hmmm isn’t that really what first dates are all about?!!? He then said that he thinks we should cancel Tuesday night and wishes me well.

I was so confused about this. I don’t understand how he could possibly have thought the date didn’t go well. We spoke about the next date AND he got a kiss at the end. He seems to have worked himself up into some kind of weird state and I tell him that I was really happy with the date and that it was a great appetiser for our real date on Tuesday. But if he is done, that’s fine but it’s totally his decision and there is no ill feeling from me.

Then he replies saying something along the lines that I did nothing wrong and that he had broken up with someone recently blah blah blah and that he still thought that we should put Tuesday on hold. It’s midnight by then and I’m more tiddly when I get this message, so I decide to blast him. I thank him for revealing his dickhead status early in the piece so I didn’t waste anymore time on him and told him that this whole thing has been fucking ridiculous.

I then tell my girlfriends what a knob he was and decide to move on. The next afternoon I see a txt message from him pop up on my screen and I’m thinking what the hell does he want now?!?! He writes that he has thought about it more and that he is sorry that he was so stupid and that he clearly had read the situation wrong and he would like to put our Tuesday date back on if I am willing.

I think about it over the next few hours and eventually decide to reply. I tell him that I don’t understand how he managed to get himself so worked up over a first date that went for an hour and a half and by all reasonable standards went very well! And although I’m not keen to line up Tuesday’s date again just yet, I agree that we can keep the communication up and see if we feel like meeting each other again. It really shouldn’t be this hard right?



  1. Amy · May 28, 2014

    Right, it shouldn’t be. I had a scarily similar situation with a bloke – after about two dates he sent me a text at 9am (just as I started work) saying “I guess you don’t like me, so goodbye!” At the time it really shook me up, I had never met anyone who was like that and I couldn’t understand why he would do that when we were getting on perfectly well. I placated him and we carried on dating for a few weeks, there were many recurrences of that insecurity. Of course he wanted me to contradict him and I have since learnt what controlling behaviour it was. He turned out to be *very* emotionally disturbed and very controlling. When we split up (after nothing serious), he suddenly declared his undying love and started to stalk me. I had to call the police in the end. I haven’t heard from him for a year now but I still shudder if I get a blank phone call or a letter I don’t recognise.

    My advice would be: walk away! RUN! Your instincts are spot on.


  2. Pingback: Ghosts of Dating Past | Seriously Single in Sydney

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