Last night was date number 2 – which was a third date with a guy I met on RSVP. He shall be known as the 37 year old virgin for reasons that will soon become apparent.
First date with this guy was two weeks ago. We had coffee and really hit it off talking for 2 hours. He asked if I wanted to see him again at the end and I said yes. We arranged to meet for dinner after work the following week and he booked a lovely, reasonably fancy restaurant on Sydney harbour.
That date also went well, lots of talking, lots of similar interests and goals in life were exchanged and before you knew it, three and a half hours had passed. He walked me to the car, asked to see me again and went in for a kiss. It was terrible. Too wet, too sluggish and too ick.
But I know first kisses are usually a bit crap, so I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. We arranged to meet up again after work this week. I picked the restaurant this time, something a little bit more casual. We went to an Asian restaurant with lots of vibe to it, but he seemed uncomfortable. We ordered and I picked a dish I’d had years ago and had loved expecting that he would also pick something and we’d share. He picked a really plain noodle dish that he seemed to want to eat alone. I was crushed! When you go to an Asian restaurant the whole experience is about picking a few dishes and getting to try lots of flavours!! I had asked if he liked Asian food before picking the restaurant, so why didn’t he speak up if it wasn’t his thing???
Resultantly the dinner was awkward. We left and decided to walk to get gelato. As soon as we left the restaurant he grabbed my hand and tried to give me a kiss. It was awkward too and he kept swinging my arm like we were skipping. I knew at that point I probably wasn’t really feeling this anymore.
We get ice cream, walk around a little by the water and he keeps trying to kiss me and it gets more and more uncomfortable. When we get near to where I parked, we start to say goodbye and he goes in for the full on pash again. He has NFI what he is doing. I wonder if perhaps I’m his first ever kiss? I persevere thinking he may get the hang of it, but no. I try and push his head into a more natural position but it makes no difference. At one point I open my eyes to see him coming back at me, mouth open, tongue poking out and it’s so Kath & Kim I almost laugh.
After a good 3-4 minutes of torture I tell him I better go (it is so late being 9pm and all….) and I head off. He is calling after me saying ‘call me, or txt me…..or send me a carrier pigeon’. Ok I made the last one up…
I walk to the car feeling both violated and disappointed. I had high hopes for this guy. In the car park my spirits are temporarily lifted by a deliciously tall man who I have some cheeky banter with. As I get out the lift I regret not asking if he was single or if I could have his number.
Was this my ‘Sliding Doors’ moment? Would my life have turned off differently if I’d asked him out???