The Executive Matchmaker

Two human heads. "Opposition" and "gender" concept.

Back in August last year I had decided that I had had enough of the type of guys I had been meeting off RSVP and that it was time to look for some quality men. All the men I was meeting online seemed to not have their shit together. They were mostly in their late 30’s but seemed to be living pay check to pay check, plodding along in jobs they didn’t like and had no plans for the future.

I feel incompatible with that lifestyle. Like many single woman I know, I own my own place (except the half the bank owns), I have a good job and I definitely know what I want out of life. I’m looking for someone just like me – but with the opposite parts to mine!

So I plugged ‘professional dating sydney’ into Google and trawled through various dating sites claiming to have a professional skew. I saw many profiles of guys that looked more like career criminals than professional men. I then searched for dating agencies just to see if there was something out there superior to online dating, but most seemed like a complete scam. Then I saw one called Blue Label Life who were advertising themselves as an exclusive agency that cater to successful, professional and executive singles. That’s me! That’s me!

I googled the agency extensively looking for reviews and was surprised that I could find nothing negative, unlike all the others. But I couldn’t find much info about them at all really, which was strange as they had been around for many years. So I submitted my details, filled out a questionnaire about my dating and relationship preferences and waited for their call. I heard back from them within a few days and they asked me to head in to their office for an interview.

I was actually a little nervous. What if they rejected me? What if they thought I wasn’t a quality candidate?? I’ve since come to the conclusion that it doesn’t actually matter what you say during the interview as long as you have the cash to splurge on their membership – which is pricey!

The membership entitled me to meet 6 men over 6 months and these men would be hand picked for me by my ‘Executive Matchmaker’. I’m really busy studying and working these days, so the thought of hiring someone to search for the perfect man for me was rather appealing. I pay someone to clean my house, wash my car, do my groceries – why should this be any different??

I had three dates with guys from the agency last year and I really must tell you those diabolical stories one day, but the fourth guy is a current work in progress and so far seems the most promising!! The reason for this could very well come down to fate.

In my teenage years I can remember talking amongst my girlfriends about our future. We were discussing the usual delusional things teenage girls talk about. You know, things like how many children we would like to have (5-6), how we wanted to have our kids by the age of 22/23 as we didn’t want to be ‘old’ mums having them at 28/29. OMG, just imagine having a child when you are THAT old…..ohh.

We also spoke about our future husbands and I always said that I was going to marry a stockbroker and that his name would be Lucas. Although my girlfriends and I have since realised that we are going to be REALLY old mums as none of us had had children before 30, I have continued for many years to reference my future husband as ‘Lucas the Stockbroker’. So imagine my surprise when my matchmaker sends me a profile last week of a stockbroker called……..Luke. Ok, so it’s not Lucas, but it’s pretty damn close. I’ll take it!

We spoke on the phone last week and he sounded great. Really interesting, funny, smart. So we arranged to meet up for dinner after work this week and he suggested a reasonably nice restaurant, which in my experience is unusual on a first date. You don’t want to pay for a fancy dinner with a dud date – not that I am one of course!

So it was all lined up and we had been exchanging txts along the way so I was feeling pretty excited about the date until…..

Date 2 with The Giant

As you may recall, Date 1 of trifecta week was with the 6’6″ guy. It was a great first date and I was really looking forward to seeing him again and we planned a date after work the next week. The day before he said he’d forgotten he had a work thing on and tried to reschedule for two days later, but I was busy and we went back and forth looking for a suitable day until we landed on Saturday.

That was almost two weeks after our first date and I’m a big believer in needing momentum when you’re dating someone so it somewhat deflated my enthusiasm. I also had been at uni all day saturday and was feeling pretty tired, but got ready and headed out to meet him at 7pm.

My foolproof strategy with dating is to always arrive right on time, or a minute or so late so that they get there before me and I don’t wander around looking for my date like a fool! It’s always so obvious seeing the fellow online daters at a bar.

I’m just about there when I get a txt from him saying he is running 15 mins late. Now I hate lateness in general, but who messages saying they’ll be 15 mins late at the exact time you are meant to be meeting!!!

I wait outside txting my girlfriends to pass the time and they try to soothe my temper with words to the effect of don’t let this ruin your night, give him a chance etc. After 20 minutes I am fuming and think to myself that I’m out of there on the dot after 30 mins if he isn’t there. Then I see a giant walking along in the distance (irritatingly he seemed to be strolling along) and he gives me a big smile.

I’m shitty and when we go inside to the bar I don’t even fake offer to pay for the drinks. He owes me for waiting time like how a taxi charges. He leads us outside to the smokers area…..great.

We have some chit chat and it turns out that he is hungover and I am tired so the cheeky banter we had going on during the first date didn’t come out. We had planned to go see a movie and due to his late arrival there wasn’t really time to eat dinner, so we head off to the movies.

We saw the Wolf of Wall Street which was really quite good, but probably a little awkward seeing a movie with so much sex whilst sitting next to someone you haven’t even pashed yet! And because of the lateness and rushed drinks, there wasn’t a lead up that would encourage any kind of affection during the movie, so it was a little weird sitting there.

After the movies I offer to drive him home as it’s really close. He tells me that going to the movies probably wasn’t the best idea for a second date seeing we hardly got to talk. I tell him I had a nice time anyway and we talk about planning a third date. He leans over and gives me a peck on the lips that is really hurried and he practically jumps out of the car.

I drive home a little crushed that it was such a lacklustre date. But I message him when I get home and say that I think we were both too tired to be fun tonight and that I’m looking forward to seeing him again. To encourage affection next time (I really need to kiss him properly to check I don’t have another horrendous kisser on my hands again) I tell him that I kinda regretted not kissing him properly after our first date. He says we will have a quality kiss next time and says goodnight ‘gorgeousness’ and all of a sudden I’m keen on him again.

Yep, that’s all it takes!

Three of three – He Died

Well, well, well. I have been so busy lately I haven’t had a chance to pop on and update the blog about my trifecta date week.

Not that it really matters….as date number three went AWOL before we could meet. Yep, no word from him at all. He hasn’t even been on RSVP since the day I last heard from him. So I can only assume that he died. Or he went to that mysterious island all the men go to when they never return your calls….I like to think of it as Tasmania. 

His loss right? Right???

Two of three

Last night was date number 2 – which was a third date with a guy I met on RSVP. He shall be known as the 37 year old virgin for reasons that will soon become apparent.

First date with this guy was two weeks ago. We had coffee and really hit it off talking for 2 hours. He asked if I wanted to see him again at the end and I said yes. We arranged to meet for dinner after work the following week and he booked a lovely, reasonably fancy restaurant on Sydney harbour.

That date also went well, lots of talking, lots of similar interests and goals in life were exchanged and before you knew it, three and a half hours had passed. He walked me to the car, asked to see me again and went in for a kiss. It was terrible. Too wet, too sluggish and too ick.

But I know first kisses are usually a bit crap, so I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. We arranged to meet up again after work this week. I picked the restaurant this time, something a little bit more casual. We went to an Asian restaurant with lots of vibe to it, but he seemed uncomfortable. We ordered and I picked a dish I’d had years ago and had loved expecting that he would also pick something and we’d share. He picked a really plain noodle dish that he seemed to want to eat alone. I was crushed! When you go to an Asian restaurant the whole experience is about picking a few dishes and getting to try lots of flavours!! I had asked if he liked Asian food before picking the restaurant, so why didn’t he speak up if it wasn’t his thing???

Resultantly the dinner was awkward. We left and decided to walk to get gelato. As soon as we left the restaurant he grabbed my hand and tried to give me a kiss. It was awkward too and he kept swinging my arm like we were skipping. I knew at that point I probably wasn’t really feeling this anymore.

We get ice cream, walk around a little by the water and he keeps trying to kiss me and it gets more and more uncomfortable. When we get near to where I parked, we start to say goodbye and he goes in for the full on pash again. He has NFI what he is doing. I wonder if perhaps I’m his first ever kiss? I persevere thinking he may get the hang of it, but no. I try and push his head into a more natural position but it makes no difference. At one point I open my eyes to see him coming back at me, mouth open, tongue poking out and it’s so Kath & Kim I almost laugh.

After a good 3-4 minutes of torture I tell him I better go (it is so late being 9pm and all….) and I head off. He is calling after me saying ‘call me, or txt me…..or send me a carrier pigeon’. Ok I made the last one up…

I walk to the car feeling both violated and disappointed. I had high hopes for this guy. In the car park my spirits are temporarily lifted by a deliciously tall man who I have some cheeky banter with. As I get out the lift I regret not asking if he was single or if I could have his number.

Was this my ‘Sliding Doors’ moment? Would my life have turned off differently if I’d asked him out???

Sigh….

One of three

I had very low expectations of date number 1 this week. Over Christmas whilst pondering my single status, I wondered if perhaps my quite narrow selection criteria was limiting my chances of finding a great man. So I relaxed the filters on my RSVP search which included education, industry and occupation and the pool of potentials tripled!

Date 1, who we shall call ‘The Giant’ as he is 6’6″, is an ‘occasional/social’ smoker. Not ideal, I’m not a smoker and I don’t really want to be kissing a smoker, but I thought hmm perhaps occasional is like once a year! He also has a child. Now this has always been a deal breaker for me, and it might turn out it still is, but at 32 I have to acknowledge that men in my age range (which I define as 30-45) have pasts and may have children. I’m just not sure if I can handle that in a partner, but I’ve not really experienced it since I was in my early 20’s so perhaps it’s time to give it a go.

The Giant and I organise to catch up after work at a local pub. It is stinking hot outside and I arrive all hot and flustered. Before I left the office I had touched up my makeup (of course) and coloured in my eyebrows a little. I was quite worried said eyebrows had migrated across my face. I recognise him instantly (it’s such a relief when they look like their profile photos) and say hello. He gets up from his bar stool and comes and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Ahhh a gentleman!

He already has a beer so I grab myself a wine and join him. I drink the wine quite fast as I’m damn hot and damn thirsty!!! We are talking and laughing along together quite quickly and before you know it our glasses are empty. He goes to get more drinks and I try to discreetly get my mirror out of my handbag whilst his back is turned waiting at the bar and phew, my eyebrows are still in their original location.

He may have noticed this as when he returns he tells me that I look really nice today and that I’m very photogenic. I try not to take that as a back handed compliment as I’m instantly thinking does he mean that my photos look better than real life?? But he then goes on to say that he struggles to take a good photo. It’s then that I notice he has kinda dreamy blue eyes and a really cheeky smile. I like that!!

We drink some more, then he goes to order dinner. It’s $3 taco night and I order 2. He tries to convince me I need more and I should try the special of the day. I’m not convinced, but when he returns he says he thinks the special will be really good, so he ordered it anyway as I shouldn’t miss out on it, but if I don’t want it I can leave it. I’m liking his style….

They come, they are delicious and I eat all three. We have another drink and then go outside when a table is free. I’m on water now as I’m driving home, but it’s been over three hours of constant laughs and chats. No discussion about the child. We’ll leave that for another day. He smokes two cigarettes whilst outside, but I didn’t find it too offensive.

The outdoor area is closing and it’s getting late on a school night so I decide to head off. He offers to walk me to my car and it’s the first time we’ve really been standing right next to each other and he is so tall! I’m 5’10 and he makes me feel short. I love it. It makes me all giddy!

When we get to my car, we discuss meeting up again and then we have a little peck on the lips kiss and say goodbye. It was smooth and nice. I’m notorious for mucking up goodbyes on dates. It’s always awkward. I’ll aim for the cheek, they aim for the mouth and we collide mid way. My tactic to disguise this awkwardness is to give them a little hug, often with a few pats on the back…which generally makes the situation 117% worse.

So all in all a great first date. I’m really looking forward to seeing him again, but due to scheduling conflicts (hehe) it won’t be until early next week.

It’s a date! Or three…

So it’s Monday night, after 11pm and I’m tired. BUT I’ve got a date tomorrow night so I can’t go to bed just yet. I’ve also got a date the following night. Annnnd one the next night.

Yes I don’t think I’ve ever actually had dates with just two men on consecutive nights before, so three might be a struggle. Sure, it’s not the ideal situation. I’m already having trouble remembering all the things I’ve told each one and what they have told me, but it’s an unusual situation that I had to take advantage of.

You see, the new year brought a lot of fresh talent into the online dating pool. RSVP was flooded with fresh faces and I sent the usual barrage of kisses out hoping to snag one of the cream of the crop before they were snaffled up. It worked and soon I was talking to a number of guys.

Then I got to the point of trying a move offline with three of them and as I am really busy the rest of January, I’m trying to squeeze these meets all in this week.

Tonight has been a flurry of dating prep. I’ve painted my nails, ironed some outfits, coloured my roots, plucked my eyebrows and applied a coat of fake tan (just to my face, arms and chest as that’s all I’ll be exposing…it’s very thrifty of me).

But a part of me does wonder if it’s all worth it. Do men notice those finer details? Do they care?

Wish me luck!